Total pages in book: 101
Estimated words: 97758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 489(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97758 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 489(@200wpm)___ 391(@250wpm)___ 326(@300wpm)
I try not to look into his scary eyes that sometimes look like a monster’s, instead choosing to look at the powder smeared on his nose. Same kind Momma and her boyfriends like to sniff up.
“He’s too much like you for that to happen,” Momma hisses at him. “You’ll be disappointed to discover your child is just another fucked-up version of you!”
Her words hurt my feelings, but I try to ignore them. It’s easy to do when I’m focused on the way his strong hand is nearly crushing my face in his grip.
“Get me my money, Tammy,” Colin says, staring at me with an angry scowl, “or I’ll take it out on the boy.” He flips out a sharp knife with his other hand, bringing it to my chest. “I could take payment by carving out his fucking heart.”
The pee leaks out even though I don’t want it to. He always scares me so bad I pee my pants. A frustrated cry escapes me.
“You’ve always been all talk, asshole,” Momma sneers, not at all sounding worried that he’s going to cut me open and make me die. “Get out of my house. I’ll have your money next week.”
Colin shoves me back, shaking his head in disgust. “Clean yourself up. You’re an embarrassment.” He rises to his feet and glares at Momma. “Don’t fuck me around, woman, or so help me you’ll regret it.”
He storms out of the trailer, slamming the door behind him. I shakily stand up as Momma does. She rushes over to me, and for a second, I think she’s going to hug me and tell me everything will be okay. That only happens when I daydream, though. Instead, she smacks me hard on the cheek. I start to cry, rubbing my cheek.
“You always make it worse when you show up pissing yourself!”
“I’m s-sorry, Momma. I was t-trying to s-save you.”
She grabs me by the arm, hurting me and making me cry out before she drags me back to my room. With a hard shove, she sends me falling onto my bed in my pee-soaked jammies. My blanket will smell like pee now.
“Go to bed. I can’t fucking deal with you right now.”
The door closes hard enough to shake the whole trailer. A mouse squeaks somewhere in my dark room. I scurry under the blanket even though I still have pee on me, hiding from the mouse that’s somewhere in my room.
I can’t wait to go to school tomorrow.
At least there aren’t mice running around at school, and the teachers are nice to me. The other kids are funny and have cool stories to tell. For a few hours each day, I feel like a normal boy.
I sit upright in bed, a cold sweat soaking through my clothes. For a second, my skin crawls as I make sense of my surroundings. I can almost smell the scent of cigarette smoke and pee lingering in the air. A shiver ripples through me at the thought of mice running all over the place. Quickly, I turn on the bedside lamp and let out a breath of relief to see my immaculate room, vermin free.
A quick peek at my phone tells me it’s just after five in the morning. Knowing I won’t get any more sleep, I swap my soaked T-shirt and shorts for my workout clothes. After pulling on my tennis shoes, I tiptoe downstairs to the house gym. It’s massive and much better equipped than the one at school. I’m surprised to already find Ryan in there running on the treadmill. Usually, it’s Dad up this early.
He stops the machine when he sees me, stopping to towel off the sweat. Even though he’s much older than Canyon, they’re so strikingly similar. Same dark hair. Same probing stare. They even smile the same way.
I clear my throat and nod in greeting. “Hey.”
“You’re up early.”
“Yeah.”
“Another nightmare?”
I flinch and cast my stare out the window that overlooks the wooded area behind where we live. “Something like that.”
“Stress sometimes taps on old memories,” Ryan says in a soft, fatherly tone. “It’s okay to acknowledge where you’ve come from and where you’ve gone.” He walks over to me, clutching my shoulder. “You’re safe now.”
I close my eyes, cringing at his words. Dad and Ryan were best friends long before they were lovers. It shouldn’t bother me that they know everything about the other, but in this instance, it does. It’s bad enough that Dad knows about all the horrible things I endured growing up, but having Ryan know too feels dangerous.
“Canyon’s coming to the wedding,” I blurt out, needing desperately to change the subject.
His brows fly up in surprise. “No shit? How the hell did you manage that one?”
“We negotiated a deal.” I shrug my shoulders, not meeting his gaze.
“A deal with Canyon is never good for the dealmaker,” he says with a chuckle. “Trust me, he’s swindled me out of money and talked me into getting him what he wants over the years. The boy has a silver tongue.”