Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 38978 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 195(@200wpm)___ 156(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
I wondered fleetingly how anyone overcame this pain; it felt as though it consumed every part of me; my very pores felt saturated with pain; I breathed in pain and kept it inside.
"Dad says you're not ready to talk, but we just wanted you to know we're here for you."
I felt the comfort of Jonas's hand as he rubbed my lower back. The feeling of love and acceptance helped to keep the storm at bay.
"That's right, sis; we're here if you need us."
I could hear the anger in Jonas's voice, always the more volatile of the two. I didn't know if that anger was directed at me or the situation in general, and quite honestly, I was in no frame of mind to find out.
"Have you spoken to Gage?"
Oh, dad, my chest concaved as I bawled even louder.
"I guess not." That was his cryptic answer.
"Breathe, Suzette, come on now, breathe for me."
I was a ball of agony in my brother's lap. The pain in my heart was too overpowering for my five-two frame to bear.
"Enough of this shit; I'm calling Maddox and straightening this shit out."
"Jonas..."
" To hell with that dad, they were together for almost four years, and he just tossed her aside like garbage because of this? He of all people should know how shit like this can be manufactured; everyone knows all about how shit can be doctored to look like something it's not."
"Son, we don't know that it's not real. Suzette hasn't said anything yet."
"I don't care; that's not my little sister. My sister would never do such a fucked up thing."
"Language boy..."
I wailed so loud I thought the rafters would fall on us. I knew I didn't deserve his faith in me, one more person betrayed by me.
How had I become this person? When did I lose myself and not even know it? Please let me die; I want to die; I can't do this anymore, no more, please, no more. There was a flurry of movement all around me as the men in my family fought to calm my severe panic attack.
"Suzie, please calm down, please." My father held me in his arms, having snatched me from Joshua's in fear. He rocked me back and forth like a child; I don't remember him doing that since I was about five. He alternated playing with my hair and rubbing my back to soothe me. Too bad only one thing could do that, and he was cut off from me, maybe forever.
CHAPTER 13
I was lying around having a lazy day thinking about all the shit I had been avoiding since my life went to crapdom. In the beginning, just the thought of facing people made me sick, things weren't much better, but at least I was entertaining the notion of going to my premier. The first one was about three weeks away; maybe by then, someone would've found my balls and returned them to me. I wasn't afraid to face the public; I just didn't want to answer any stupid fucking questions about how the fuck I was feeling. What the fuck? How do you think I feel? You have pictures all over the world of my girl in a car getting hot and heavy with some fucktard, not to mention the speculation about whether or not they fucked. I promise the first motherfucker that asked me this shit was getting run the fuck over. Bloodsucking fucks had had enough of me to last me a lifetime.
I could give fuck-all about the public's right to know. No one needed to know how much this shit was making me bleed but me.
If I didn't calm down, I was going to give myself a coronary. Wouldn't that just be fucking aye perfect?
I rubbed my face in frustration, not sure what the fuck should be my next move when my mom came through the door to my sitting room.
Each of us kids had our own private suite in this monstrosity. My floor held a studio where I kept the baby grand I'd had since childhood. A kickass master suite complete with a walk-in closet fit for a Prima Dona, just saying. The whole thing was done in blues and greens in varying shades.
" Hello, son."
She patted my leg as she sat next to me on my lounger.
"Hey, mom, what's up?" Who knows what fuckery she was up to now.
"Jane's here."
"The fuck...?"
"She kept calling son, and I just thought it would be better if we had her come out so you guys could hash out a plan of action. You have responsibilities, yes?"
"Yeaaaah...Mom...but."
"This is the life you chose, no?"
I just looked at her. No reply needed.
"Tell me this, Gage, are you giving up acting? Do you plan on retiring, or are you going back to work?"
"Of course, I'm not giving up acting; you know I love that shit." What the hell?