Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 75907 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75907 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 380(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
The tide is way out, so I might find some shells or other little treasures that I can slip into my pocket and take home with me.
Clouds hang low, blocking the sunrise this morning, but overcast weather is nothing new here in Huckleberry Bay. And, although many people complain about the constant dreary weather, I love it.
I lived in California, in the sunshine, for far too long. I had no idea when I married Anthony and moved down there with him how much I would long for home. How much I’d miss my friends, my town.
My brother.
In the beginning of the relationship, Anthony made me believe that I could come visit any time that I wanted to. He was certainly wealthy enough that he could have made that a reality, but I learned right away that he never intended for me to come home, even to visit.
Anthony was a really good liar.
“He was too controlling to let me out of his sight long enough to come home to visit,” I say out loud, not worried in the least that someone might overhear me. There are only a handful of other people on the sand, a runner and a couple holding hands, but they’re far away, and the surf drowns out the sound of my voice.
It’s one of the reasons that I love walking down here so much. My whole life, the beach at Huckleberry Bay was my safe place. My therapist.
“Because I can say whatever the hell I want, and no one can hear me. And it feels good to get it out.”
When I was a kid, surviving my parents’ bullshit, this is where I came to yell and cry.
When Tanner broke up with me, I came here to scream at the water.
And the night before Anthony took me to California, this is where I came to say goodbye.
“I was a fool.” I lean down and pick up a rare shell that isn’t shattered to bits and tuck it into my pocket. “He swept me off my feet so fast because all I ever wanted was love. My parents didn’t even love themselves, much less each other; how could they love their kids? Then Tanner left me. I just wanted to belong to someone.”
I huff out a breath and stop walking just before the surf crashes around my ankles.
“And now, I belong to me, and that’s how it’s supposed to be. That’s what I should have been chasing all along, rather than approval and affection from someone else.”
I shake my head and let out a long, slow breath.
I need to go see my younger brother, Scott. He’s the biggest regret in my life. I wasn’t allowed to have any contact with him after getting married, and I wish I’d defied Anthony and maintained a relationship with Scott.
But, I didn’t. I was weak and did what I was told to do. I just wanted to fly under the radar, and keep the peace, because to do anything else made my life a living hell.
And because of that, Scott hates me.
“I have to try to have a relationship with him.” I wipe at a tear. “He’s my brother, and I have to try.”
Scott sought me out the night of the fire to make sure that I was okay, but since that night, we haven’t spoken. I’ve told myself that I’m giving him space, but in reality, I’m nothing but a chicken.
“It’s time to make things right.”
With that decided, I check the time. It’s not yet eight in the morning. I don’t know for sure what Scott’s working hours are as an EMT here in Huckleberry Bay, but I could find out by showing up to see if he’s home.
So, I walk back to the steps where my flip-flops wait and climb up to my new little house. God, I love it here, more than I ever thought I could love a place. I enjoyed my little apartment above Wolfe’s garage, but this is on a whole different level entirely.
The vibe of the space is calm and inviting, and it’s so quiet here, I’ve been able to paint like a woman possessed since I moved in just a few days ago.
It feels like home, and I don’t know if I’ve ever truly felt this way anywhere that I’ve lived. I certainly didn’t feel welcome in my parents’ house. My ex-husband made sure that I was never fully at ease when I was with him.
And the apartment, while comfortable and convenient, was above a busy garage, where it was noisy and bustling.
Finally, I have a place where I feel calm and utterly safe.
I pet Petunia and pour some food into her dish, and once I’ve rinsed my feet and dressed for the day, I walk the half-mile or so to Scott’s house. Shortly after I returned to Huckleberry Bay, June and Luna told me that Scott had bought his own home and was doing well for himself.