Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 93096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
“Look at you. You turned into a foodie.”
“I can cook.” Luis’s casual shrug said that he was probably damn impressive at it. “And you said you’d try this.”
He passed over a piece of the spicy fried cauliflower. This was...well, not exactly flirty, but something. Tucker might be out of practice for any sort of dating, which this decidedly was not. But it was comfortable. Cozy. Way friendlier than they’d been the past few days. Gamely, he chewed the vegetable. And nearly seared his tongue off, scrambling for his water.
“Yup, same old Tucker.” Luis’s laugh was as welcome as rain this time of year, soft and easy. “I might have gone and learned how to cook, but apparently expanding your palate wasn’t on the agenda.”
“I was too busy plating nuggets and fries for toddlers. And then Wade went and ate a jalapeno slice on a dare and didn’t cry.”
“You were screwed.”
“Yup. I don’t even try to keep up with him these days. I can cook, but with teens, it’s more about the quantity of calories I can produce than any sort of gourmet dish. Heidi’s husband, though, is a fabulous cook. You’d like him. His homemade mac and cheese almost made me be the one to propose.”
“Now that would be fun. Your own little poly triad. Too bad he doesn’t swing that way?” Luis raised an eyebrow.
He had to chuckle at that. “This is central Oregon. A poly anything is gonna catch a lot of flak, especially from folks like Heidi and I were raised with. Not that that was ever on the table. I’ve never come out and asked, but I assume Isaac’s straight and he’s a fairly traditional guy to boot. Can’t see him having any wild threesomes.”
“And you?”
“Me? You asking how I identify these days or if I would have been into the idea of a triad?”
“Both maybe.”
“I’m sure threesomes and moresomes have their appeal, but I...uh...no. Not for me. Not with them, particularly. And as for the rest...it’s complicated.”
“Want to tell me about it?” Luis’s head tilted, but he didn’t lean forward and kept his focus mainly on his salad.
That was nice, the way Luis was offering, without pushing. And honestly, apart from their past, there weren’t many people he could talk about this sort of thing with, and it was...refreshing to not have to carefully word each statement. Heck, even joking about threesomes was fun because this was someone he could be honest with, and he didn’t have that many people like that.
“Heidi knew...back then. About us. She was the only one I told.” The back of Tucker’s neck heated and he kept his voice down.
Nodding, Luis made a small affirmative noise, but his eyes were pleased. Tucker hadn’t wanted to keep him and their special friendship a deep secret, but back then he simply hadn’t felt like he had many choices.
“And we talked about...some stuff. We were always the sort of friends who could talk about anything. Made us good parenting partners, even if that part of our relationship was...kind of a dud.”
“You never?” Luis’s eyes went wider.
“We did. Not often, but...we tried, more the first couple of years than later on. Then she was in a psych class that talked about sexuality as a spectrum. Showed me the book, and I spent some time reading it myself.”
“I’m enjoying the image of you so studious.” Luis’s smile was kind.
“Yeah. Anyway, I realized that for me attraction is more of an emotional connection thing than a physical thing. I was never one to see the appeal in random stranger hookups, and while I can appreciate good looks in various genders, it doesn’t make me want to go there with them unless that emotional closeness is there first. Which is all a convoluted way of saying the book showed me that demisexual makes a lot of sense for me.”
“I see. It makes sense then that you and Heidi...” Luis made a vague gesture. “You were close. Friends. Comfort sort of thing.”
“Yeah. Exactly, and as time wore on and we drifted further and further apart, that emotional connection was...less, and it was harder for me to...connect on that more physical level too. It wasn’t the marriage either of us needed, to be frank.”
“I’m glad she found something that makes her happy. But you? What about what would make you happy?”
That was a loaded question, one Tucker still wasn’t quite sure how to answer for himself. He took a minute to study a picture of a salmon on the wall. “Attraction is pretty rare for me, but I’m not opposed to the idea of someone in my life romantically. Most often that attraction seems to be other guys I feel a significant bond with.” His face heated and his lips went dry. He wasn’t sure whether he wanted Luis to know how much he actually did yearn for connection, how lonely he got sometimes. He liked the idea of someone in his life, in his bed very much, but finding that person hadn’t seemed very likely. Until, of course, Luis strode back into his life, and that old connection kept sparking present attraction. “And in any event, I’m not exactly...”