Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 93096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93096 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 465(@200wpm)___ 372(@250wpm)___ 310(@300wpm)
“You’re doing what?” Luis had assumed there would be visits, but it was all very nebulous in his brain, no logistics sorted out, and it had felt more aspirational than anything else. But here was Tucker planning to visit him, not simply waiting for the court case to bring Luis back. That meant something and Luis had to swallow hard.
“I can dwell on how much Friday is going to suck or I can use this nifty fare-finding app. Getting leave while we close out fire season here will be tricky, but October should be safe.”
“Yeah.” This was a little surreal and was perhaps the best evidence yet that they weren’t sixteen. They had bank accounts and credit cards and access to airline tickets and good jobs with paid leave. They could do this, fluttery feeling in Luis’s gut and all. “I’ve banked a ton of leave too. If we’re not in an emergency situation, I can probably come back for a weekend even apart from a possible trial. Especially if I’m interviewing—”
“You’re not.” Tucker cut him off with a stern look.
“I’m not?” While he did appreciate all Tucker’s offers, Luis had still been operating on the assumption that when it came down to it, he’d be the one packing up.
“No. You’ve got to let me job hunt first. If you apply for the job here, you’ll get it, and then that will be the easy solution.” Tucker patted Luis’s hand, which was still on his thigh.
“Exactly.”
“Maybe I don’t want the easy way out. Especially if that’s not the most fair to you.” Tucker’s mouth twisted.
Luis wasn’t entirely sure how to read his expression. “I’m less hung up on fair now. You’ve got a lot going on here—the house, the job, the kids...”
“Yeah, I do.” Tucker made a startled noise as the cat left Luis’s lap to walk between them and wiggle into the space behind their joined hands. “Cat. Anyway, this is why I need us to be patient. I’ve got to get the boys settled and back at school, talk logistics with Heidi, job hunt... It’s not going to be fast.”
“Which is why—”
“Fast isn’t everything.” Tucker leaned back as the cat made her way to the other arm of the couch, abandoning them to their very human problems. “Anything worth doing is worth doing carefully. With consideration.”
“You sound exactly like your dad.” That got a deeper frown and Luis immediately regretted bringing up Tucker’s family. “Sorry.”
“Not all of his advice sucked.”
“True. But I want you happy, Tucker.” He leaned in, trailing his fingers down Tucker’s jaw. “Not obligated out of a sense of fairness or anything else like that. And asking you to give up your job, start hunting nearer to me, that feels like too much. I’ve seen the way Adams looks at you. He wants you to be director eventually.”
“Yeah, he does. But what do I want? That’s what I keep coming back to. If I don’t look, I’ll never know what I might have found. You see this really wise guy told me it wasn’t too late to chase my dreams.”
Luis’s eyes went so wide he could actually feel the stretch. “You’re going to do it? The thirty-five-year-old rookie smoke jumper?”
“Well, I’m not sure if they’ll have me, but I want back on the front lines of fires for sure. I want something different than hiring techs and forestry management. I miss being on a crew, and I hadn’t really ever given myself space to acknowledge that. I want more adrenaline and outdoors in my days.”
“That’s...risky.” Luis couldn’t help it. His mind flashed back to Mike and how much worry sucked. Tucker potentially risking his life for a dangerous job was hardly a comforting prospect. But he also knew he couldn’t keep Tucker from his dreams, and the part of him that wasn’t scared shitless was so proud of him for having this realization.
“I’ll be careful.” Tucker met Luis’s gaze, and in his eyes, Luis could see how much thought he had given this, how much he wanted it.
“You mean it, don’t you? This wouldn’t simply be you moving to make me happy?”
“No. I want to make me happy. And yeah, part of that is us together, a life together, but I also want to see if I can find a job I truly love.”
“I want that for you too.” Luis squeezed his hand again, less reassurance for Tucker and more anchor for himself, for all these rising emotions in him.
“Good. I don’t have all the answers yet, but I want the freedom to hunt them down, be open to ones I haven’t considered yet.”
“I can do that for you. Give you space to find those dreams again. Even if that means getting okay with you hurling yourself out of airplanes.”
“One step at a time.” Tucker gave him a fast kiss. “I’m going to start by talking about my plans at family dinner tomorrow. You’re coming.”