Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 54852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54852 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 219(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
“Sounds good.”
I absolutely did not deserve this man and his innate thoughtfulness. All afternoon he’d been dropping hints about sex, but far from having a one-track mind, he put my mom’s needs first. And to me, that made him even sexier. Strangely, his kindness made my chest feel more tender—physically, not just emotionally. Which I didn’t like. A lifetime of being hyper-aware of my health had me on edge. Was this sensation something I needed to worry about?
Something must have shown on my face because Finn frowned. “You okay?”
“Yes, of course.” I waved off his concern, but when he kept studying me, I sighed. “It’s hot, that’s all.”
That had to be it. It was hot, and we’d been working, and I was all emotional over Finn. Any one of those was a perfectly reasonable explanation for why I suddenly felt so off. But I wasn’t reassured.
“Drink more water.” Not waiting for a reply, Finn dashed for my bottle, bringing it back in a flash, even unscrewing the cap for me.
“Now who’s bossy?” I complained, even as I smiled at his caretaking.
“Me, later.” He bumped my shoulder suggestively. “If you’re good, that is.”
I might not be feeling myself, but certain body parts were still perfectly healthy and quite interested in his ideas. I held up my bottle. “See? I’m good. Drinking my water for you.”
Finn’s expression softened into something I couldn’t quite name. “Oh, Harry…”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Shaking his head, he pulled me close for a soft kiss.
The way he cared about me was even more apparent in the gentleness of his mouth, almost like he was afraid I might shatter. And in that moment, I saw clearly that I could not be unwell around Finn. I refused to be one more thing he had to take care of and manage.
All my old worries over my health came flooding back. I’d held them at bay the last several weeks, but now I felt every one of my forty-two years, every line on my medical history form. No way was I telling Finn about those thoughts, though. He had more than enough on his plate. The last thing he needed was a boyfriend who was a ticking time bomb.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Harrison
Can you live without me?
Alone at the front counter in the bookstore, I studied Finn’s latest text. The correct, polite answer to his text about not being able to come by today would be “yes.” Yes, I could live without him. Except, I was increasingly unsure that was possible.
I liked him far too much. Scrolling through the recent photos on my phone reminded me of how my feelings kept growing. Finn with Mom at a restaurant. Finn standing next to the chicken coop at her house. Finn with paint on his nose.
I liked how nice he was with my mom, how he teased and joked but never made fun of things that mattered to me, how he was helpful without being obnoxious about it. Other than a dogged belief that newcomers to Vermont would eventually return to their urban roots, he was pretty damn perfect.
In fact, the better question was whether he could live without me. He’d said our relationship was more than casual and that we were exclusive, but he also made comments that made me think he was still thinking short-term. Which was probably smart. He should guard his heart. Then he’d be okay if anything ever happened to me.
And something could happen. I hated thinking about it, but I couldn’t stop. In the days since Finn had built the chicken coop, dread was my constant companion, the ominous heaviness making even ordinary tasks hard.
“How is your phone more interesting than my new picture-book shipment?” The sound of my mother’s voice startled me so much I fumbled my phone, narrowly saving it from the floor.
“Sorry.” I tucked the phone back into my pocket.
“Don’t be.” She patted my arm. “Finn?”
There was little point in being cagey with her these days, so I nodded. “Yes. We were going to have dinner tonight, but he has a vet coming out to see one of the sheep and can’t get away.”
“There’s a joke there, I’m sure.” Laughing, she straightened her pleated skirt. Today’s fabric print was the Paris skyline. “And that’s why you’re so down? No Finn?”
“I’m not down.” I narrowed my eyes at her. Actually, I’d been making a concerted effort to not be too morose around her or Finn. They didn’t need to hear my worries. But apparently I hadn’t been too successful, because Mom was glaring at me.
“Harrison. I’m your mother. I know you.” She started stern, but then gentled her tone. “You’ve been out of sorts for days now. And whenever Finn’s name comes up, you get this sentimental expression and quickly change the subject.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to worry you—”
“I’m a mother. It’s what we do.” Reaching out, she tilted my chin toward her. “Now talk to me.”