Total pages in book: 170
Estimated words: 168980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 845(@200wpm)___ 676(@250wpm)___ 563(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 168980 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 845(@200wpm)___ 676(@250wpm)___ 563(@300wpm)
Banks bounces his head, his mouth nearly curving up as his gaze meets mine. “I remember that. She looked pretty happy on the descent.”
I was.
I am.
“Yeah, that was a good climb…one of the fucking best,” I mutter, throat still swollen, and I try to hang onto the happiness before I unleashed the bomb. I remember the closeness I felt with my dad at the peak. We just bonded in an intangible, spiritual way over a route he loves, and then…
Boom.
I blew it all up.
Was it worth it? I don’t fucking know. But I can’t imagine hiding this part of my life from him, so I’d have to share eventually.
As these thoughts toss and turn in the quiet, we all hike along the trail. Akara holds my hand while Banks rubs my back, then rests a strong arm around my shoulders.
Until we reach the parking lot, in public, and they let go. After piling the climbing equipment into the green Jeep, I slide in the back of Booger.
Banks is driving, and Akara fusses with the faulty air conditioning in the passenger seat. Behind them, I lift a knee to my chest and stare out the window. Headed back to Philly.
I replay my dad’s words over and over. His actions.
His hurt.
Their hurt.
My hurt.
How there was no painless way this could go, and I don’t want to be afraid to lose my dad. But I’m fucking terrified. He’s my rock. He’s been there to turn to my whole life, and now what? Should I even forgive him for his anger? Does he even want forgiveness?
Will we never speak again?
The thought obliterates me. I bawl into my hands, sobbing as pieces of me that have never torn are being shredded apart.
3
AKARA KITSUWON
Just as I give up fiddling with the A/C, I hear the sound of Sulli’s sobs. I turn. Banks tries to turn but keeps half his gaze plastered to the road.
Sulli shields her face in her hands. Practically buckled forward. She’s not someone who easily hides her emotions, and being her bodyguard—being her friend for years—I’ve seen her upset before. Only, these aren’t hot, angry tears or frustrated ones of defeat.
These are rare, guttural, and broken. And they’re a right hook to my heart. Not a second waiting, I’m gone. Crawling over the middle console, I slide into the backseat and wrap my arms around her.
“Sulli,” I whisper.
She cries against my chest, unable to unglue her hands from her face.
I hug her closer. “Your dad loves you. This isn’t the end.” Ryke has to come around. There’s no way I’d let her relationship with him just perish because of me.
Fathers.
I don’t have one anymore, but she does. And he’s always been good to her. Up until today, he’s been good to me too.
Her staggered breathing starts to ease up a little.
Behind the wheel, Banks rotates for half-a-second to check on her. He frowns, looking as concerned as I feel. “If your dad just needs to get another punch in to let off some steam,” Banks says as he switches lanes, “I’ll let him have at it.”
“No,” she mumbles in her palms. “No…more…” The next word comes out garbled.
Banks glances in the rearview. “What’d she say?”
“No more fighting,” I tell him.
I catch the faint rise of his mouth. And the smile on my face surprises me. Looks like we both find Sullivan damn cute in this moment, and I’m not jealous.
Actually, I’m loving that Banks sees what I see. And I love that seeing him love Sulli doesn’t freak me the hell out anymore.
But I’m not naïve. I know being in a relationship with the same girl will be complicated. Probably in ways that none of us are prepared for—because how the hell do you prepare for this?
It feels like just yesterday I learned poly romances happen in real life and not just fantasies.
Banks drives past a minivan. “Is it fighting if I let Ryke hit me?”
“Still fighting,” I tell him.
And he’s still my responsibility. One of my guys on Kitsuwon Securities. Only now we’re…attached? Metamours? Something that has grown strong and will hopefully grow stronger. The inverse would ruin everything.
Sulli breathes better, but her next words sound fractured. “It…hurts.”
I touch her hands that still shield her face. “One day, it won’t, and we’ll all laugh about this.”
“He’s a good dad,” Banks tells her.
Sulli sniffs loudly, uncovering her face. “Fuck.” She intakes a sharp breath. Her face is splotchy, and I brush my thumb over her cheeks. With a raspy voice, she asks, “How can you both be so fucking cool about him? Especially after it got physical?”
Banks lifts a shoulder. “It’s not every day a father hears the shit that he heard. Can’t expect him to take it easy. Not sure I would’ve either in his position.” He speeds up to pass some oncoming traffic. “I am pissed he walked away though.”