Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71595 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 286(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“You really have nothing to worry about, Mom.” I clear my throat. “Anyway, checking up on Yuki isn’t the real reason you called, is it?” I take a deep breath. “So—-”
“Actually—-” It’s Kelly’s turn to clear her throat. “It is the real reason I called.”
I can’t help rolling my eyes even when I know she can’t see me. “I’m serious.”
“I am, too.”
Something about that tone nags at me, and my eyes narrow as I try to picture how Kelly looks while talking to me. “Moooooom...”
“What?”
Kelly’s voice is all too innocent, which confirms my worst suspicions, and my jaw drops to the floor. “You lied!” I shake my head in sheer disbelief. “Didn’t you?”
“Well, it’s not precisely a lie—-”
“Mom!”
“Okay, maybe I mentioned quite vaguely about this treatment I’ll be undergoing which I might require your personal support for—-”
“Is there really such a treatment?” I demand.
“Yes,” Kelly answers promptly. “But it’s more like a massage kind of treatment?”
I close my eyes. “Oh my God. Mom.” I’m a fraction exasperated, but I’m also mostly grateful that there’s nothing serious for me to worry over. Kelly has always been the practical sort, but ever since she was diagnosed with cancer, she started having these random whims, and this call’s a prime example of it.
“I had to do it,” she protests. “I know they’d never let me talk to you otherwise—-”
“We could have talked after class!”
“But I wanted to talk to you now.”
It’s such a spoiled, un-Kelly-like thing to say that I find myself laughing a little. “You’re acting like a baby.”
“Privilege of cancer victims,” she quips.
I let out a snort. “Says the woman who threatened to cut my allowance if I ever told any of my professors about your condition.”
“As it should be.”
...
...
...
It’s a good kind of silence, one where you can hear each other’s heartbeats, and it’s wonderfully steady and familiar.
“Is it really okay between you and Yuki?”
“As okay as it is with you and the Big C.”
There’s silence again, but this time it’s the kind that makes you smile and breaks your heart at the same time. She gets it, and I get it, too.
We’re in the same boat, but at least we’re not drowning.
“Have you told Yuki about me?”
“No.” My fingers tighten around the phone. “Should I?”
“Only if you want to, and I hope when you do, it would be for the right reasons.” Kelly pauses. “You get what I’m saying?”
I close my eyes. “Yeah.”
“Just because our lives have become a little less perfect than others...”
Memories flash in my mind. Of Kelly’s first day at the hospital, the first time I saw her cry, the first time I saw her start to lose her hair—-
“It doesn’t mean we automatically deserve the longer end of the stick.”
The moment I tell Yuki about it, just a single thing about it, and I know he’ll never leave me.
I squeeze my eyes shut more tightly. “I...know.” But my voice cracks a little in the end. Is it really so bad to want someone you love by your side? Is it really so bad if sometimes, I just want to cry in Yuki’s arms, and tell him I’m so, so afraid of losing my mom?
“Oh, baby.”
And now her voice has that same little crack, and hearing it is enough.
It’s so blasted stupid, really, the way we can only become stronger when we realize some people are worse off than we are.
“Don’t worry about me,” I tell her fiercely. “I mean it, okay? Whatever happens here is nothing compared to what’s going on there. So just concentrate on getting better. If I find out from Dad you’re stressing over me, I’m never going to speak to you again.”
“Are you my mom now?” Kelly laughs, and it’s such a sweet, beautiful sound it has me quickly covering my mouth. I don’t want her to hear anything in case I can’t stop myself from crying.
Please God.
Please.
If I have to give up Yuki for my mom, I will.
Word of the Day: Jiko Bukken
A term consisting of the words jiko (accident) and bukken (property) and is used to refer to properties in which unfortunate circumstances have taken place, i.e. a property where murder or suicide took place.
Jiko bukken are often sold, leased, or rented out at extremely low prices because of the aforementioned circumstances.
“I think you’re setting yourself up for a stumble,” Vivi says darkly.
“Fall,” I correct her with a little smile. “What you mean is that I’m setting myself up for a fall, and no, I don’t think I’m doing that.”
The two weeks Yuki has asked for will finally expire tomorrow, and I’ve prepared for it as best as I can. I’ve rented out an AirBNB for the weekend, a cozy third-floor 1LDK that offers a wonderful view of the Senso-ji, and even better, it’s dirt cheap, too.
Granted, it’s on a building that sits atop an old well, but I’m trying not to think about that. As long as the well isn’t Sadako’s favorite digs, I can live with it. In fact, I’m planning to spend the night alone here, just in case Yuki decides to surprise me with a midnight visit.