Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 82250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82250 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
“I went and visited Caroline the other day,” Mom says, I figure to change the subject.
“And?” I ask, relieved to talk about anything but me.
Mom catches me up. Lets me know Caroline might be getting out on probation sooner than they expected. As she talks, though, I can sense her discomfort—and Dad’s, too—not just about my sister, but about me. I’ve let them down. But I’d rather just let them down than for them to feel like I’m a failure. Like they created two kids who couldn’t function like normal people in the world.
22
Travis
My door opens behind me, and my lips automatically stretch into a smile as I turn around. “Decide you want a quickie?” I ask right before I see Cody standing in the doorway instead of Gary.
“Nah, I’m good. I don’t think your boyfriend will like that,” he replies, closing the door.
“Fake boyfriend,” I remind him.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know we still believed the fake part. My mistake.”
The fucker hasn’t stopped giving me shit about Gary in weeks. It’s starting to drive me crazy. “I’m going to kick you out. Don’t make me kick you out.”
Cody walks over and plops down on my couch. “You wouldn’t kick me out. You’re all talk, Travis. Pretty soon you’ll realize it.”
I have a feeling he’s not talking about booting him and referring to Gary. That’s not something I want to think about, much less talk to him about because as fucked up as it sounds, the lines have been a little blurry lately. We’re not in a legitimate relationship. I’m not a Peter and I never will be. The reasons we’re faking it are two of the people we’re having dinner with tonight—them and his ex-dickhead, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I like him more than I thought I would. He makes me smile even when I don’t feel like smiling. I want to touch him all the time, just because I like that I can, and I like the way his skin feels beneath mine. He makes me feel an ease I didn’t know I was missing, likely because he’s such a simple man. Even if the only place I do admit it is a dark place in the back of my head that I can easily ignore.
“Let me go get some shorts on. I’ll be right back,” I tell Cody.
“Why? I’ve seen you in a towel before. I’ve seen you in less than a towel before.” He winks at me like an idiot.
“Have you always been this annoying? Jesus, I’m going to kick your ass.”
But the truth is, if Gary happened to come back, he’d lose his fucking mind if he saw me in here wearing a towel with Cody. He would try to hide it, but all those insecurities from Petey would show up when he’s been doing so fucking good about ignoring them lately. Plus, rumors around here fly around worse than high school. It wouldn’t surprise me if someone has their binoculars out, watching us from the other tower right now.
I head into my room, pull on a pair of boxer-briefs and some basketball shorts before heading back into the living room with Cody. “What’s up, man?” I ask as I sit in the smoky-gray chair across from him.
“Nothing, really. I just haven’t seen you in a while. You’ve been busy with your boyfriend.” When I cock a brow at him he changes it to, “Your fake boyfriend. Though you know it would be okay if you lost the fake part, right?”
“Huh?” My skin feels tight all of a sudden. Relationship talk makes me itchy. “Because of you?” We’ve fucked once. He’s my friend. What in the hell is he getting at?
“No, jackass. Because of you. Because of that me tough man, don’t need anyone bullshit you believe. It’s okay to like someone. To want to be in a relationship with them. It’s okay to believe you’re enough, T.”
The tightness in my skin intensifies. Shoving to my feet, I head for the kitchen and start some coffee. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and this conversation is over.”
Cody is the only person who knows about some of the shit with my family—not all of it, but he knows my parents have nothing to do with me—mostly because he’s a nosy motherfucker but also because he’s met my brothers, and I might have gotten too drunk around him when I got into a fight with my parents one day.
“Tell me to mind my own business, and I will.” Cody stands up, walks to the bar and leans over it.
“Mind your own business. And you’re wrong. Haven’t I already told you this is only about Peter, my job, and the fact that I like fucking him? I don’t want to say it again.”
“Yes, sir!” He gives me a mock salute, and I can’t help but grin at him. “How are things going anyway? Do you have a feel for what Steven is thinking?”