Total pages in book: 43
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41373 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 207(@200wpm)___ 165(@250wpm)___ 138(@300wpm)
I felt walls going up inside me like I was a damn castle being sieged.
It was an intense feeling, and one I wasn’t used to. Before all of the shit had gone down in New York, I’d always been an open book.
It wasn’t easy feeling so ashamed.
But right now I had a sweet guy in front of me, just hoping that he could have a nice, simple Christmas season.
I could do that for him. At least if I couldn’t feel good about my own life, I could make him feel good about his.
“Maybe at the Christmas party we can show everyone our new favorite bumblebee and Christmas tree butt plugs,” I said. I was able to change the subject and make Shane smile all at once, and I really liked that.
“Easy. Then they’ll really believe we’re a couple.”
I reached out and let my hand settle at the small of his back, enjoying the feeling of touching him.
“Come on, baby. Let’s go edit this video,” I said.
I was allowed to have a little fun. Even if he wasn’t mine for long.
7
SHANE
“I’m definitely going to put in an up-close shot of your face in that moment,” Rowen told me.
Both of us were sitting in front of his computer, editing the video to send to the Fixer Brothers. We each had a glass of whiskey ginger in front of us, and I’d been watching as Rowen proved he was a complete fucking wizard with the video editing software. I could barely figure out how to clip up videos with my phone, let alone use software like this.
Right now, he was zoomed in on a freeze-frame of my face, right as he’d popped a kiss on my cheek.
“Don’t go up close on me during that moment,” I groaned. “I look so embarrassed.”
“That’s what I like about it,” he said, giving me a little shove. “Just a little kiss and instantly you get all blushy. So cute.”
I gave him a little shove back, but my hand just ended up resting on his arm. I didn’t want to pull it away. How long was it okay to touch him?
I dropped my hand away a few moments later, my thoughts looping in on themselves and threatening to make me overthink every part of this whole fake-boyfriend thing.
“If you think that shot will be good for the video, then do it,” I said. “Even though I’ll cringe internally every time I see it.”
We watched through the whole video one more time. A slight smile spread over Rowen’s face as he saw the part where he kissed me, and in the glow of the laptop screen, I loved seeing his face light up.
It made him happy. So I was kind of starting to like it, too.
“If the Fixer Brothers don’t like this video, I don’t know what’s wrong with them,” Rowen said afterward.
“I’m never going to stop nitpicking myself, so I’m going to go with your judgment on this one,” I said. I pulled in a slow breath. “I just want it to be perfect.”
He squeezed my shoulder. “You did great. Once you finally got used to me kissing you.”
“They were just kisses. Really not that big of a deal,” I said, knowing damn well that I was full of it.
Rowen seemed equally aware that I was bluffing. Something twinkled in his eyes and already I felt my heart rate ticking up from having his gaze on me.
“After we kissed a few times that night, it did seem like you started to get more comfortable next to me on camera.”
“It made me feel better, sure,” I admitted.
He held up his glass. “Want to call this video done?”
I raised my glass to his, clinking them together. “Let’s submit it.”
I navigated to the application website, where I’d already had all of the other information ready to go for days now. All I had to do was log in, upload the video, and press send.
I breathed deep, going through the steps as Rowen leaned back near me, perfectly calm while I was like a fireworks show inside.
“I’m going to do it,” I said once the video was uploaded. “My finger is literally shaking above this submit button, but I’m going to do it.”
Rowen reached over, gently putting his palm on top of my hand. He moved it downward, and then in one quick motion, pressed my hand down and clicked the button.
It was done.
My fate was in the hands of the Fixer Brothers now. And within a few weeks, I’d know if I’d won the contest.
“Holy fuck,” I said.
“Fuck yes, Shane,” Rowen said.
My heart was pounding. “I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin and straight up into the atmosphere,” I said. “Wow. Fuck.”
“You did it.”
I leaned back on the couch, looking up at the multicolored shadows on the ceiling, cast from the lights strung around Rowen’s Christmas tree.