Total pages in book: 52
Estimated words: 49388 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 198(@250wpm)___ 165(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49388 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 198(@250wpm)___ 165(@300wpm)
My voice is tight with anger, but there’s a hint of pain I know Tarian can hear. I hate that he still has this hold over me. And I hate that Ares and Etienne know as well.
Tarian watches me for a silent moment before he nods and turns to leave. He’s never been in my bedroom before, and it hurts to know that the only reason he’s in my sanctuary is because he’s broken my heart. Our friendship is in pieces, and my heart is in shreds on the floor.
And all because I fell in love with a boy who grew into a broken man.
He slowly starts to walk toward the bedroom door, and I wonder if he’s waiting for me to tell him to stop. I don’t. I’m not going to be another one of the notches on his bedpost that begs him not to leave.
For years, I’ve watched girls throw themselves at him. He’d give them one night then walk away and never look back. Now I know what they went through, but the only difference is I’m not going to beg him to take me back. And I’m certainly not going to plead for another chance to share his bed.
Tarian shuts the door behind him, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The gun in my hand suddenly feels heavy, and I set it down on the bed. I can’t believe I pulled a gun on him, but my anger had taken over.
I hate what I did to Tarian.
But I hate what he did to me so much more.
CHAPTER 19
TARIAN
Jealousy isn’t an emotion I thought I would ever feel. When I saw Grecia with Damien, it reared its ugly head for the first time. And then with my uncle, the same rage twisted inside me, and I lost my cool and my control. I should never have let Thane see me like that, and I never should have allowed him to taint my view of Grecia. But all I saw was red.
As soon as Grecia left his house, Thane told me the kiss was merely a joke, and he was trying to gauge what I felt for her. That’s when I gave him a black eye and told him I was going home. The anger that had taken hold of me dissipated after that, so when he accompanied me back to Tynewood, I simply ignored him for most of the flight.
I’ve never felt rage like I did when I saw Thane touching and kissing Grecia. As I think about it now, my hands fist at my sides, causing my knuckles to throb from where I punched him, but I don’t regret it.
The air hangs heavy with tension as I sit slumped on the Italian leather sofa in the Lancaster living room. It’s been months since I was last here. I haven’t told the others what happened, but when I first walked in, Ares poured me a drink.
My two best friends sit on the sofa opposite me. Ares pins me with a glare, so I have a feeling he already knows. And if he does, then so does Etienne, who appears impassive as he sips his whiskey. We’ve been through thick and thin together. Over the years, it’s always been the three of us, but I haven’t ever felt so lost, so utterly broken, as I have since hurting Grecia.
“I screwed up, guys,” I finally confess, my voice barely above a whisper. “I let my insecurities get the better of me, and I’ve ruined everything with Grecia. I should never have let Thane get inside my fucking head.”
Ares shakes his head before he says, “I’m sure she’ll listen to—”
“I went to her house before I came here,” I interrupt Ares. “She pulled a gun on me when I was reluctant to leave.”
Ares laughs out loud, the sound bouncing off the walls, and I can’t help but scowl at him. But he’s not concerned about my feelings. He thinks it’s hilarious.
I pin him with a glare, but all he does is shake his head at me.
“It’s not a fucking joke,” I bite out.
Frustration burns through me. I can’t believe how badly I fucked this all up, and I know Grecia’s not going to give me a chance to fix it.
“I think it most certainly is,” Ares replies when he finally stops laughing.
“Ignore the asshole,” Etienne says, chucking a cushion at Ares before turning his attention back to me. “What happened, Tarian?”
I take a deep breath, steeling myself against the flood of pain and sadness threatening to overwhelm me. I hate showing any kind of emotion on my face. I used to be able to hide all this shit until I was alone.
“Last night I finally took the next step with Grecia. After months, years, of hiding how I fucking feel, I couldn’t hold out anymore. I should never have done it, but I don’t regret it. I wanted her, and she wanted me.”