Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66259 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 331(@200wpm)___ 265(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
“I’ve wasted a fucking year,” he growls. His answer has me nearly melting on the spot, and I’m already halfway there with the way he holds me. I think back to all our arguments, the sexual tension, being abandoned by him or feeling abandoned when I was in school, only to feel abandoned again on my wedding night, but I shove it all away.
Everyone has their reasons.
The CIA believes that everyone has three lives, I saw a TikTok on it once. The first is the public life you want people to perceive. The next is the private life you tell nobody about, and finally your secret life, with the deepest darkest parts of your soul you wish to God is never exposed.
I know his public life—I’ve seen parts of his private life—but he’s never showed me his secrets.
I say this as I kiss him harder, as I hold my own secrets and dreams too close, too afraid to share them with anyone for fear of being left. Because if someone claims they’ll stay by your side and you show them the good the bad and ugly, what happens when the ugly is too much to handle? And what happens when you feel that space next to you in bed?
And it’s empty, with all your secrets gone and exposed, with that person, forever. You never get them back and you lose that part of your life forever to that person who stole what was so hard to give.
Killian’s forehead touches mine roughly before he carries me into the primary bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him with a bang. I’m trying to pull his T-shirt from his head, and finally get it off onto the floor. My hands reach for the button of his dark jeans, but I can’t get them off unless he drops me.
He slowly lowers me to the bed; he doesn’t toss me, he doesn’t cover my body with his and punish me with kisses.
“Is this my reward?” I smile as he slowly pulls down his jeans, of course rockstar who wears leather pants is completely commando. My eyes widen. I suck in a sharp breath. “Should you be carrying weapons?”
He leans down and presses a kiss to each breast. “I dunno, should you?” He smirks and flicks a nipple. “You know you should get these pierced.”
“Why?” I ask, slightly insulted.
“So I can watch”—he grins—“the pain, and then give them all the pleasure they deserve over and over again.”
“Sadist?” I inquire.
He kisses my nose. “Only the good kind.”
“Didn’t know we had those.”
His body is heavy, covering mine. “I volunteered as tribute.”
His arms brace either side of my body, his biceps swirling with tattoos that hold lyrics, pictures of skulls, one of his album covers with a red umbrella, a dragon, he doesn’t discriminate, but I think my favorite one is the one on his chest that says smoke and mirrors.
I trace it with my fingertip. “What’s this mean?”
He sighs and kisses me again, not answering me, not allowing me to get a word in edgewise as his tongue slides into my mouth again and again, his hands move to my hips, tugging my thong completely down and dropping them onto the floor. His green eyes blaze as he pulls back and flicks my heels with a finger. “I think I want you to keep these on, I wanna feel the sharp pain of them biting into my skin, with your legs wrapped around me so tight I have bruises.”
My lips part at the same time he grabs my ass and tugs me down the bed. He’s rock-hard and hot against my stomach. I arch with every kiss up my calve, to my ticklish knees and spread thighs. His hands tug me open.
It’s been so long, I whimper before his mouth even descends, his tongue is first followed by his fingers.
Rob seldom did this, and if he did, it was so quick it was like he wanted a high five for giving it the good ol’ college try.
“Knew you would taste good everywhere.” Killian grunts against me. “It’s embarrassing how much I want you.”
“It’s equally embarrassing”—I pant—“how much I need you.”
He continues touching me, teasing me, and pants. “Condom?”
“I trust you.”
He stills, his fingers completely stop moving. “Don’t.”
“Because I didn’t sign a paper?” I tease a bit nervous now.
His green eyes darken as he lightly taps my ass with his right hand. “Don’t bring Dustin and his documents into our bed.”
Our bed.
Our bed.
I like the sound of it.
“Nightstand,” I finally blurt out, embarrassed that I even have them, but I was told manifestation was key when it came to all good things, by a priest friend of mine that I will definitely offer wine and a holiday ham to later.
Killian’s golden hair falls over his eyes as his lean body slants across mine, he reaches into the nightstand, grabs one, tears it off with his teeth and slides it on. “Normally I’d apologize for not letting you finish with my mouth first.” His grin is wicked. “But I kind of want my dick to be the only thing that has you screaming, he has jealousy issues.”