Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 58808 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58808 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 294(@200wpm)___ 235(@250wpm)___ 196(@300wpm)
Gods.
So fucking good.
“Feeling better?” Hugh murmured, kissing the inside of his knee.
Eric forced his eyes open and beamed at him, still pleasure-drunk. “So much better. Thank you.” I love you, he nearly blurted out. I love you, I love you, I love you.
His chest tightening with panic, Eric tried to quash the thought—the emotion—to the best of his ability. It meant nothing. The orgasm was just making him stupid. He’d read about it. People often felt that way after a good orgasm, and it didn’t mean anything. Just endorphins and pheromones making him think and feel stupid things. Things he didn’t really feel. He couldn’t love this alpha. He wasn’t allowed to. He didn’t love Hugh. He didn’t.
Hugh gave a clipped nod, stroking his thigh in an absentminded manner before getting to his feet. He took some wet wipes from his desk drawer and wiped his face carefully until there wasn’t a hint of slick left.
“Get dressed, Eri,” he said. His voice wasn’t harsh, but his face was inscrutable.
Eric fixed his clothes, unsure what to think of Hugh’s reaction. It was kind of inconclusive. On one hand, Hugh had seemed to like it when Eric told him that he needed him. On the other hand, he didn’t seem all that happy about it. And Eric still had no clue if what happened had aroused Hugh even a little. The alpha’s suppressants prevented Eric from smelling it, and it was impossible to tell what Hugh was thinking.
“Are you angry at me?” Eric said softly.
“No,” Hugh said with a sigh, raking a hand through his hair. “I’m angry at myself. I should have been more careful and let my nurse administer the pheromones the first time. We wouldn’t be in this mess if I had.”
“I don’t think it’s a mess,” Eric said. “It’s fairly simple, isn’t it? I involuntarily imprinted on you, so we have to find me an equally compatible alpha, but until then, I’ll need to scratch the itch from time to time to keep the symptoms at bay.”
Hugh’s lips curled into something that wasn’t quite a smile. “Let’s hope we won’t have to do the scratching too often.”
Eric’s heart sank as he realized that they were hoping for opposite things.
“I don’t want to be a burden to you,” Eric said, swallowing the sudden tightness in his throat. “If you’re forcing yourself to do it for my sake, don’t. It’s not necessary. I can deal. Strictly speaking, I don’t need this.” I don’t need you, he wanted to say. But that would be a lie. He needed this alpha with the intensity that scared him. The mere thought of Hugh disappearing from his life made his stomach tighten with panic.
But instead of looking relieved by his words, Hugh grimaced, the corners of his lips tightening. “No one can force me to do anything, least of all a little thing like you. You aren’t a burden, Eric. I won’t lie to you and say this situation doesn’t make me uneasy. It does, but it’s on your behalf. You should be exploring sex and your body with a young alpha you can mate, not your mated doctor twice your age.”
“You’re neither my doctor nor twice my age,” Eric said, starting to get pissed off. The mere mention of Hugh’s mate irritated him to no end. “And it’s my body, and only I get to decide what to do with it. Stop treating me like I don’t have my own mind. Just because I’m young doesn’t make me an idiot.” He turned and stormed out of the room before he could say something he might regret.
Something stupid like, I love you and I don’t want anyone but you.
So much for no-strings-attached sex.
Perhaps he was an idiot.
Chapter 13
Eric went to bed in a bad mood and it didn’t get better when he realized that he had no idea what he was going to do about his brother’s wedding.
Liam was getting married to Jon in two days, and Eric was supposed to attend their wedding, scandal or not.
The mere thought of going back to Pelugia, even temporarily, filled Eric with a mix of longing and dread. He missed his home and his family, but he didn’t miss the derision and scorn of Pelugian high society. It wasn’t that he hadn’t encountered such things in Kadar—of course he had, but the magnitude was incomparable. Kadarians cared a lot less about the scandal than Pelugian high society did. Eric could bear some snide remarks; he couldn’t bear being treated like the worst sort of dirt.
But he was going to have to do it, for his brother.
Besides, Eric didn’t want to miss the wedding. He’d already missed so much since moving to Kadar: the drama around Liam’s romance, Jules’s pregnancy and first months as the prince-consort, the scandal involving their uncle. Eric sometimes couldn’t help but feel that his family had moved on with their lives, leaving him behind, no longer needed. So yes, he wanted to see his family, wanted to feel like he was still part of it.