Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 78340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78340 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
In addition to our usual group, part of our extended family had joined us for dinner. I introduced Lucky to the couple and explained, “Casey’s a pediatric nurse. He used to work with Yolanda, and he also rented my room at some point. Now he lives with Theo, who’s a doctor, and the two of them are in the process of opening a community pediatric clinic. Even though the clinic’s not officially up and running yet, Owen’s been its first patient.”
Lucky’s brows instantly knit with concern. “Was the baby sick?”
“No, he’s been fine. I’m just talking about his regular wellness checkups. At the most recent one, I found out his height and weight are right on track for his age.” Lucky looked relieved. Then he turned to Theo and Casey and began asking them all about the clinic, which they were more than happy to discuss at length.
Soon we all sat down for dinner. Owen was right beside me in his high chair. I cut up a few things I thought he’d like into kid-size pieces, then watched him as he sampled the different foods and reacted to them with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Meanwhile, the conversation around the table was light and upbeat. I looked around at my found family, and this wonderful feeling of contentment washed over me. Then I caught a glimpse of Lucky out of the corner of my eye.
He didn’t know I was looking at him, so he hadn’t bothered to school his expression. What I saw made my heart ache. He just looked so wistful. I knew he loved being here, and he’d become good friends with my household. But that was just one more thing to miss when he was gone six nights a week.
Sure enough, as soon as I turned to look at him, Lucky flashed me a big smile. I rested my hand on his thigh and kissed his cheek, and he leaned against me and said softly, “This is a perfect night.” I wished I had the power to make every night like this for him. The fact that I didn’t made me feel pretty helpless.
We all lingered over dinner, and then Lucky and I took the baby upstairs. We read to him and helped him build a block fort for the next hour, until it was bedtime. After I got Owen changed and in his crib, Lucky sang him the most beautiful Spanish-language lullaby, and he drifted right off.
I turned to my boyfriend and gathered him in my arms as I asked, “Do you want to join our friends? It sounds like they have a heated game of charades going in the living room.”
“In a little while. Right now, I just need you.”
We took off our shoes and curled up together on the bed. As I brushed back his hair, I asked, “Are you alright? You were quiet over dinner.”
“I’m fine. I just miss you and all of this so much when I’m gone, but I don’t want to let that cast a shadow on the time we have together.” He put his head on my chest, and I stroked his hair as I held him.
After a while, he continued, “Sometimes, when I’m sitting at my desk at work, I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s claustrophobic. My office is all sealed in and air conditioned, and the windows don’t open. I’m being ridiculous, because it’s not a small, confined space. But I just feel so…”
I finished for him. “Trapped.”
“Exactly. I also feel guilty, all the time—guilty for not being here for you and Owen. Guilty because I just can’t get excited about the company. Guilty because my dad’s so happy I’m there, but all I can think about is how much I want to be somewhere else.”
“I’m so sorry, Elian. I wish I could help somehow.”
“I know, mi amor, and I really don’t mean to dump all of this on you.”
I kissed his forehead and said, “Please don’t ever hold back. I may not be able to fix anything, but I’m always here to listen.”
“I appreciate that.” He sat up and smiled at me, even though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Enough of me wallowing in self-pity. Let’s go downstairs and join our friends. We should be celebrating our time together, not moping.” It was really all we could do—make the best of what we had.
As always, I slept great with my boyfriend at my side. The next morning, I made pancakes for the entire household, and then Lucky and I lingered over coffee in the backyard while Owen ran around chasing the small white butterflies that liked to visit the flowers. Fortunately, he had zero chance of ever catching one. If he did, he’d probably try to eat it.
Lucky checked the time on his phone and muttered, “It’s about that time.” The car service always picked him up at exactly eleven a.m., and it was currently a quarter ’til. Once he pocketed his phone again, he said, “I’m going to swing by and visit Ana-Sophia at the diner before I head to the airport. It’s almost her birthday, and I wanted to drop off a gift.”