Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 129986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129986 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 650(@200wpm)___ 520(@250wpm)___ 433(@300wpm)
His eyes open, and he looks down at me with that dark look I usually see mid-fuck, the one that felt scary even before I knew all the violence he was capable of.
Now, it feels terrifying.
What is he thinking when he looks at me that way?
Maybe it’s crazy that when he scares me like that I want to pull closer to him, but I think it’s what he wants. I can’t outrun him or outmaneuver him, so staying close to him feels like the only way to stay safe.
I reach up to caress his face. I bring him down to me, my touch gentle, and kiss his lips as he hammers into me.
I initiated the kiss, but when he kisses me back he dominates my mouth, tangling a hand in my hair and driving into my pussy harder. I cry out at the brutal impact, and he growls against my mouth, then kisses me even more ravenously.
His hungry kisses still make my heart flutter.
Knowing what he’s capable of, I don’t feel like they should.
He makes me come before he finishes, but in the aftermath as I lay curled in his arms, I feel sick to my stomach.
His low voice in my ear startles me. “You’re staying here tonight.”
“Okay,” I say softly.
His arms tighten around me and, before long, he drifts off to sleep.
I’m nearly asleep myself when I feel his body jerk. It startles me awake, but my blood runs cold when it sounds like he’s panicking. I pull his arms off me and roll over so I can look at him.
He rolls on his back, still tense, his eyes still closed.
“Hey,” I say softly, grabbing his shoulder and shaking it a little to wake him up. His eyes open and dart to mine, and for just a moment, I see a mix of fear and vulnerability in his eyes that cuts straight through all the shit we’ve been through this week and sinks a blade into my heart.
“It’s okay,” I say, wanting to comfort him. “It was just a bad dream.”
He closes his eyes again, seeming to realize it, but he’s still… vulnerable.
I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s strangely intoxicating. I caress his bare chest and lean down to kiss the side of his face, anything to calm him down.
His hand covers mine and he sighs. His other hand slides into my hair and he pulls me down so my face is against his firm chest.
“Fuck,” he rumbles.
“It’s okay,” I say again, my voice gentle. I kiss his chest. “It’s okay, baby.”
I feel the tension slowly ease out of his body as I comfort him. My heart aches and I can’t get close enough to him.
He pulls my head back with the hand he still has threaded through the silky locks of my hair. He tugs me back just enough so he can kiss me, then he pushes me against his chest and sighs.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
My heart does a somersault. I hold him tight and murmur, “I love you, too.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you this week.”
His apology startles me. It’s not the first one he’s given me, but the way he has been all week, it’s totally unexpected. “It’s okay,” I say, even though I’m not sure it is.
“I just don’t want to lose you,” he says.
My heart contracts. His admission feels so raw and sincere. I know he’s been kind of crazy, but it really does seem like a lot of his crazy has revolved around being afraid of losing me.
I tilt my head and look up at him. I slide my hand up to caress his neck as he looks back at me, so open I think I could wound him if I tried.
But I don’t want to wound him.
“You’re not going to lose me,” I tell him.
He caresses my arm. “Promise?”
I nod even though my brain tries to caution me about making a promise I can’t keep. I’m not ready to quit on him, I’m just a bit spooked by all that’s happened.
His request brings me back to a time earlier in our relationship, too. It wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like a lifetime since he promised to never abandon me. Now, he just needs the same reassurance from me.
“I promise,” I whisper.
He pulls me close and kisses me, then he rolls me on my side and wraps his arms around me, pulling me against his body.
I wrap my arms around him right back.
For a while, it’s so quiet I don’t think he’ll speak again, but then he asks, “Do you still trust me?”
I have to think about it for a few seconds. A little bit ago I might’ve said yes just to appease him, but now that he’s being more like the version of him I’m not afraid of, I give myself a moment to search for the truth.