Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 119152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 596(@200wpm)___ 477(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119152 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 596(@200wpm)___ 477(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
“Oh, yeah. Hey. How’s it going?”
“Great. I didn’t expect to see you here. I came with Makayla.”
Her smile is overly happy as she scoots even closer to him. I don’t realize I’m frowning until it’s too late. Over Jenny’s shoulder, I make a mistake and steal a glance at Ben. It’s quick, but his eyes catch mine, and a smug smile spreads across his stupid face.
He takes a step closer, crowding her space. “Cool. Hungry? I was looking for a partner in crime to get some food and a drink.”
I can’t even hold back my eye roll. Sure he was. If he thinks he’s going to make me jealous, he’s way wrong. My smile becomes tight when he reaches out and takes her hand. They walk off, and Jenny cocks her head back and waves, giving me the happiest smile. I wave back and practically choke on my bottle as I take a sip to hide the grinding of my teeth.
I start to chug.
It’s fine. Who cares? I sure don’t—I cough, swallowing too much beer.
“Are you okay?” Hannah asks.
“Hmmm?” I ask, trying to get this beer down.
“You seem. . . upset. Did something happen between you and Ben? Well. . . I mean, recently?”
I shake my head, my beer still tipped. God, how do guys chug this stuff?
“Okay, that’s enough.” She presses down on my bottle, forcing me to stop—which I’m thankful for. I hate beer. “I’m going to come out and say it. I feel like I’m having a little bit of déjà vu here. The whole reaching out for one another’s information and giving me the run around on why. I fell for it, and now, you both look like shit is about to go down.”
“Why—no—I’m not—”
“Lying? Great, thanks for being honest. Now, let’s just skip all the dancing around and tell me the truth. What’s going on with you and Ben?”
What’s not going on? He’s like a rollercoaster. I seek the thrill and want to get the hell off at the same time. The problem is I can’t. Or maybe I don’t want to. I don’t know. He’s messing with my head.
“Anything?”
“I hate him.”
She nods, pursing her lips. “Okay. . . that’s a start. Again, did something happen? Recently?”
Yeah, we basically had hate sex, and it was the most mind-blowing thing I’ve ever experienced. And now that he’s ruined me, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be forced into some dark web shit for people who only get off on angry fucking. “Um. . . nope. Same ol’.”
“You know I can tell you’re totally lying, right?”
I look at her. Hannah’s been a constant presence in my life since I was thirteen. To this day, I don’t understand what she saw in me. What I saw was a timid girl lacking all the popular traits. But on the first day of school, she didn’t even hesitate to sit by me at lunch and offer to share her sandwich. The rest was history. The year ahead had been the best of my life. The safest. Sometimes, I wonder if Hannah knew. The way she looked at me, wanting to ask questions but holding back. She always insisted we do our homework at her house. Made sure I stayed over for dinner. And the sleepovers. . . they were the only time I got a good night's sleep.
It wasn’t until shortly before I left that Hannah really started pressing. Too often, I couldn’t explain the bruises and cuts on my body. One night, my father was so drunk, he started yelling and calling me names, thinking I was my mother. Accusing me of being a whore. A disgrace. Pathetic. Blaming me for coming home from my boyfriend’s house when Hannah and I had just lost track of time studying for our history test. He dragged me into the house by my long brown hair and took a pair of scissors to it, claiming I was using it to lure in and seduce men. I didn’t even know what that word meant.
Hannah was a smart girl. She saw everything. Her heart was so big. I think her biggest worry in life was that she couldn’t help everyone. It was the Matthews’ way. I was here so often and truly felt like I was part of their family. And it felt right. I felt loved. Their house was where everyone gravitated. They had even taken in one of Kip’s friends for the summer. That also meant I was in constant contact with Ben Wallace. If I had a choice to avoid him, I would. But it meant giving up the only solace I had. So, I stuck it out.
“Honestly, I’m over his antics. I’m a grown woman. Anything he tries to say to me means nothing. We were just kids. Clearly, he’s still acting like one.”