Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
The thing was, every time I tried to wise up and shut down my feelings, he gave me reason to hope. Because he was no better at ignoring me than I was him. And just to prove it, he glared at my cute black sleep shorts and tank. Never had my sleepwear been so maligned. The lack of a bra seemed to particularly upset him. Though maybe he just liked scowling at my boobs in general. This wasn’t the first time. That my nipples chose that moment to harden, however, was not helpful.
But this whole situation was a mess. He made me angry and happy and confused and turned-on. The only positive to having a lady boner for the man was knowing I wasn’t alone with this chaos and confusion. But unlike him, I at least could display a little dignity.
“Do you often go running in the middle of the night?” I asked.
“No.”
“You couldn’t sleep?”
“No, I couldn’t,” he answered.
“That happens to me sometimes. When there’s a lot on my mind.”
He set the glass aside and crossed his arms. “I wasn’t going to come here, but...what you said about me and Jane...you were right. We broke up because I couldn’t handle the way she interacts sometimes with people, and that hasn’t changed. Did you know the waiter tonight gave her his number?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“I was sitting right there and she took it,” he said. “When we met up last week and decided to try again we agreed to be exclusive. I told her accepting his number made me uncomfortable and she said I was being ridiculous. That she was just being polite and it didn’t mean anything.”
“Maybe it wouldn’t mean anything to some people. But it does to you.”
“Yeah,” he said.
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
I shrugged. “I get no joy from you being unhappy.”
“Shit.” He rubbed at his face. “I rushed into something I knew wouldn’t work. It’s my own damn fault.”
“Why do you think you did that, Lars?”
His hands fell to his sides and he looked at me. The silence got awkward fast. Finally, he said, “Being just friends with you is harder than it should be.”
My mouth was a perfect O. Not that the news was surprising. I just didn’t think he’d actually admit it out loud.
“Talk to me about something else,” he ordered, all agitated.
“Ah. Okay. Did I tell you I took the divorce certificate to another psychic?” I lifted myself up onto the counter. “A psychometry expert this time. They read objects by touch.”
“That’s not what Miss Lillian does?”
“Not exactly.”
“What’d they say?” he asked, taking another sip of water.
“That there was a lot of sadness attached to the document.”
“You expected it to be happy?”
“Some divorces are,” I argued. “My father was so overjoyed after theirs came through that he went hunting and drinking for a week with his friends. Said it was the best time he’d ever had. Sinking beers and shooting bunnies.”
“Your father is an asshole.”
“That’s true.”
“What did your mother do?”
“She doesn’t talk about it. Any topic involving my dad is prohibited.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “My family prefers to be dysfunctional. You could say it’s our chosen aesthetic.”
“I’m glad you had your aunt.”
“Me too,” I said. “She was so funny. She used to do this thing...if she poured you a glass of water or fetched you a pair of socks she’d say, That’s it for Christmas. That’s all you’re getting. It would start sometime after Thanksgiving and just keep rolling right on through until the big day. I thought it was hilarious when I was little.”
“She sounds great.”
“Yeah.” My smile slipped. “She really was.”
“Did the psychic say anything else?” he asked.
“Um, that I should not make bad choices. With an emphasis on especially not repeating previous mistakes. To be sensible and to look to the future and let go of things that don’t benefit me.”
Lars nodded. “Not bad advice.”
“You’re not going to tell me every psychic is a fraud?”
“I’m pretty sure you can make up your own mind. Her guidance sounds a bit like common sense. But maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world that people get to hear some common sense.”
“Very open-minded of you. So what are you going to do about Jane?”
“We agreed to disagree. So we’re done. Again.” He hung his head. “It lasted one whole damn week.”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. That would have been a lifetime in middle school.”
“That is not comforting.”
“We can eat ice cream and watch TV if it’ll make you feel better.” I smiled. “Do you think maybe you’ll give being on your own for a while a try?”
He gave me a look.
“Just a thought.”
He sighed. “I wasn’t running scared or anything after your housewarming. That’s not why Jane and I...”
I just waited.
“You said you didn’t want to see me. I know you just needed some space, but I didn’t like it.”