Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 85888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85888 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 429(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
“Wow. What’s that like?”
He shrugged. “It’s just home.”
“Nice,” I said. “I find it interesting that I was the petitioner. But it doesn’t necessarily explain anything. Maybe I gave up. Maybe you were long gone. Who knows?”
He grunted.
“Thing is, we’re opposites.”
“Aren’t those supposed to attract?”
I scrunched up my nose. “Not sure if I entirely believe that. I mean, for example, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
“Rich.” And that was all he said.
“There you go.”
“Why?” he asked. “What did you want to be?”
“A princess in a fairy tale with a happy ending. But like one with great style. No pastel dresses.”
He just blinked.
“The way I figure it, you left me for another woman.”
His brows drew together. “You calling me a cheater?”
“All right. Fine, not that. How about we were fundamentally incompatible?”
“In what way?”
“Didn’t we just discuss this?” I asked.
“I’m still not convinced.”
“Um. We fought about money.”
“This is about me giving you shit the other day, isn’t it?” he asked. “About spending any money we found on fancy shoes. I already apologized for that. I learn from my mistakes. It won’t happen again.”
“What if in this hypothetical future we reached an agreement regarding what we each contribute to household expenses and what we do with the rest is our own business?”
“Sounds good,” he said.
“Okay. How about...religious differences?”
“Mom used to drag me to Sunday school, but that was a long time ago.”
I cut a piece of cheese and put it on a cracker. “I’m sort of an atheist. Probably. Haven’t really made up my mind.”
“So unless you suddenly decide to run off and join a cult, I’m not really seeing religious differences as being a big deal.”
“No,” I agreed. “What about children?”
“As in, do I want them?” He thought it over for a moment before nodding. “Yeah. You?”
“One or two would be okay.”
He tapped out a beat against the tabletop with his fingers. “This one couple I know is always arguing about family. Where they’re going to spend the holidays. Every year it’s a big fucking drama. She doesn’t get along with his mom and he doesn’t like her dad and then there’s the drunk uncle who got handsy at Thanksgiving.”
“Ugh. That would be awful. But your folks sound nice. Let’s go there.”
He gave me an amused smile. There was even a tipsy twinkle in his eye. Lord knows, I had a buzz going on. But tequila had definitely loosened Lars’s tongue.
“Mine suck,” I said. “Just take my word for it.”
“All right.”
“What else could it be?”
He pointed a finger at me. The rude man. “When we go out you’re always flirting with the waiter or bartender. It’s disrespectful and it drives me nuts.”
“That’s weirdly specific.”
He let his head fall back so he could stare at the ceiling. “Jane used to do that.”
“Really?”
“Yes,” he grumbled. “It’s why we broke up.”
“That’s sad. I’ll be sure to observe the boundary between friendly and flirty, so you don’t feel dismissed and or uncomfortable.”
He downed some more beer. “Thanks.”
Over on the doormat, the cat had finished her meal and was busy giving herself a bath.
“You spend too much time on your phone,” he said.
“A large part of that is my job so I’m afraid you’re going to have to suck it up. I will, however, do my best to minimize screen time whenever possible. Though I use it to read books too. You’re really going to have to suck this one up.”
“Fair enough.” He gave me a brief smile.
“What else? Oh, I’ve got one.” I dipped a little tomato in the hummus. “Household duties. You never do your share. You’re always forgetting to take the garbage out.”
“I’m on garbage duty? Okay. I’ll set an alarm so I don’t forget,” he said. “What are you doing when I’m taking out the trash and whatnot?”
“Ah. Loading and unloading the dishwasher. I can’t handle the chaotic style some people have, just shoving things in wherever. It’s not okay. There’s a system and it must be observed.”
“Fair enough. I’ll take the laundry. Then you won’t have to go down into the spooky basement or murder room or whatever you called it.”
“That’s very considerate of you. But will you separate the colors?”
“If it’s important to you then yes.”
“And you’d want to live here.”
He picked up a couple of grapes. “It’s your house so that’s up to you. What about cooking?”
“I like to cook.”
“That’s great because I like to eat. Why don’t I do the grocery shopping and the yard and car maintenance?” he asked. “That way mechanics won’t rip you off anymore.”
“I like to shop, too.”
“So we share the grocery shopping. Do it together or whatever.”
“Okay. Well, this is surprising,” I said, once I finished my mouthful. “I honestly thought it wouldn’t be that hard to identify the source of our relationship going boom. But here we are, a functioning fictional couple.”