Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87933 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Instead of regular assistant duties, I’ve sent Jojo on a mission to gossip with other PAs and get dirt on dear old Ben. You don’t act like he does and not make a few enemies in this town. I just have to find the right enemy.
If I can network with the right directors, the right producers, I don’t have to lose anything. Because I realized something when Blake’s contract with Coby Godspeed fell through: he still has options, and so do I.
I get a message from her that says: Can’t come to set today to wait on you hand and foot because Operation Make Cheating Assholes Pay is in effect. Going to brunch with a source. A PA friend of another PA. Real six degrees of separation shit. Side note, does Hollywood espionage get me a raise?
I reply: Get me what I want, and I’ll give you a twenty percent raise.
She’d deserve it.
Blake looks miserable when he arrives to set, and when our eyes meet, I want to go up to him and kiss his worries away, but I don’t.
I might be falling for Blake, but throwing my life’s work away for him sounds like Disney movie crap that’s unrealistic.
Blake was right when he said I’ve been closed off to the idea of forever because I know forever doesn’t come easy. It takes work, not magic. So when we shoot our scenes today, I hold on to Blake a little bit tighter, kiss him that little bit harder, and I try to convince him that I’m still here. I’m still all in. And I silently promise we can be together soon.
When Ben calls for a ten-minute break, Blake leans in and whispers in my ear, “I miss you.”
I glance around, and even though Ben’s left the room, his lackeys haven’t. I quickly squeeze Blake’s hand before dropping it along with my voice. “I have a plan. You just need to miss me a little bit longer.”
“What plan?”
Out of the corner of my eye, Jojo steps through the sound studio door and sends me a thumbs-up.
“You’ll find out soon enough.” I go to walk off when I pause. “Oh, and I miss you too. So fucking much.”
It’s the first time I’ve seen Blake smile all day, but then Ben steps back in the room, and I scowl at Blake.
“Don’t look so happy, though. The asshole is back.”
Blake’s face falls, but the smallest of smiles remains.
I approach Jojo and drag her to the side of the sound stage where no one else is around. “What’d you find out?”
“I sent a list of names to your phone of producers, studio execs, and everyone who has pull in this industry who also happen to hate Ben. All you have to do is send them to your agent and get him to put some feelers out. Oh, and just so you know? It’s a really long list.”
That takes care of Ben being able to badmouth me all over town, but we still have to deal with the public fallout of Blake’s and my “affair.” That might need some extra thought. But for now, I can breathe easy for the first time in days.
Arianna pulls through for me, and as soon as she calls to tell me there are numerous directors and studios on that list willing to cast me in upcoming projects if for nothing more than to drive Benjamin Randt crazy, I drive over to Mason and Denver’s house because I can’t stay away from Blake anymore. Even if we still have stuff to work out, I need to see him. I don’t care we were on set together just a few hours ago. I need to see Blake, not Madden.
I need his warmth and that fullness inside my chest I get whenever I’m near him. Most of all, I need him to know that while I’m still scared shitless that I’ll be heartbroken by him, I’m all in.
I belong to Blake in a way I’ve never belonged to anyone else.
I want to hold on to that feeling. Cherish it. Love it.
I want to love him forever. Or, at least, give us the chance to get there.
I’ve never done that before, and it’ll be a first for me.
I took Blake’s first time with a man. He took my first time with love.
Real, bone-deep, blind-trust kind of love.
Oh, shit, what am I doing? I pause at the gate outside Denver’s Malibu mansion, but then I shake off my momentary freak-out and push forward.
Old habits die hard, but Blake is someone I truly want. I’ll do anything to be with him, even open myself to being vulnerable.
I ring the buzzer and am immediately let through, but Denver answers the door when I reach it. “Is Blake here?”
Denver steps aside. I suck in a deep breath and prepare to do this big romantic speech, and then my feet practically trip over themselves when we enter the living room and every single Eleven member is here, with their partners, along with a dude who looks like a manager, a woman on his arm, and there’s some other woman here with a child, and and and okay, this is all too overwhelming.