Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 63970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 320(@200wpm)___ 256(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63970 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 320(@200wpm)___ 256(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Kai’s wife was a brilliant screenwriter. So brilliant she’d been smart enough to leave LA. Not that he hated LA. He loved parts of it. He just hated the part where he was already seen as a washed-up loser because he wasn’t in a blockbuster film. There were other ways to have a career.
“I’m surprised. I guess I thought you would find another show after Dart.”
He didn’t fault Kai for thinking that way. After all, he’d spent the majority of his life seeking attention—good or bad. But he’d grown up. “I need something more. I know you think the acting thing was all about narcissism…”
Kai shook his head. “Hey, that is not what I think at all. I do not in any way think you’re a narcissist. Quite the opposite. You’re kind, Jared. You think of others. I might have had a lot of baggage when it comes to you, but the last couple of years have shown me what a good person you are. But your personality type requires positive reinforcement.”
It was how he’d gotten in trouble so many times. He knew what Kai saw when he looked at his younger brother. Their father had walked out on them when they were young. Kai had taken over much of the protector role while their mother had worked and worked to keep food on the table. Jared had gone from his mom walking him to school every day and being the room mom, tirelessly showing up on the sidelines of whatever sport he was playing that month, to almost never seeing her at all. He’d needed the attention, and looking for it had almost led to losing his whole family.
He knew one thing now. “I’ve tried to fill that void with fans, and it doesn’t work because not one of them knows the real me. I think for a long time I loved acting because I didn’t have to be me at all. I had to be whatever character I was playing, and then offscreen I was the actor Jared Johns. I didn’t have to be Jared Ferguson.”
Because Jared Ferguson had been a scared kid. He’d been a fucked-up kid. He’d been selfish and self-centered and lost and so vulnerable it hurt to think about it.
“You want to be Jared Ferguson again?” Kai asked.
“It’s taken me a while but yes. I think that’s what’s come out of all of this, out of what happened with Squirrel.” This was the part his brother might not like. “I mentioned I’m making a documentary.”
“I know. I think it’s a good way to examine what happened to you.”
Jared breathed a sigh of relief. He’d been worried his brother would have reservations, and the documentary was absolutely nonnegotiable. “Good. We’ve done the background work on Squirrel and where he came from, how he turned into what he did.”
A killer. Squirrel had been his oldest friend, someone who’d had his back since childhood. It was still hard to think of the things he’d done.
“I was hoping you would consent to talk about the incident on screen.” He was cautious, knowing he was tiptoeing into a field of landmines where his brother was concerned. Kai was a deeply private individual. “I thought you could talk about things from a psychological perspective.”
His brother’s lips turned down in a prissy frown, though he was sure Kai would object to the word. “I don’t like to go on camera. That’s not what I do.”
He nodded and waved it off like he’d known that would be the reaction. Which he had. “No problem. I thought that’s what you might say. I wanted to give you first dibs. I’ve got another psychologist lined up. Kenny Prewitt. He’s done a couple of documentaries on true crime. Don’t worry about it.”
Kai’s face immediately went a nice shade of red. “That quack? You can’t be serious. He’s not a real psychologist. He’s a nice head of hair. That’s all I can say about that idiot.”
Jared let Kai rant on. He’d known Kenny Prewitt had a long history of clashing with Kai. They’d been in the same doctoral program. Kai had gone into private practice and Ken had found fame as the therapist to the stars.
Dr. Kenny wasn’t actually doing the documentary. There was no way he was paying what Dr. Kenny asked, and Kai was right about him being nothing more than a good haircut and some really shockingly white veneers that could be hard on his cinematography. But Kai didn’t have to know that.
“I’ll do it.” Kai pronounced the words with a sigh like he’d known he would have to bail his little brother out again.
Yeah, score one for the actor. “That’s great, Kai. You were actually there. You’re the one who was involved. I think your input could be invaluable.”
Kai frowned. “That doesn’t mean I should talk about it on camera.”