Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 45045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 225(@200wpm)___ 180(@250wpm)___ 150(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45045 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 225(@200wpm)___ 180(@250wpm)___ 150(@300wpm)
“You may have mentioned that a few times when we were kids,” he pointed out, his voice dry. “I think the most memorable time was that day at the pond. You threw popcorn out into the water and told me that was the only food I was allowed to eat.”
“I was horrible,” I admitted. “I know I was horrible. I shouldn’t have treated you that way, but I was only five.”
“C’mere,” he said and held his hand out to me. I took it, letting him pull me over for real this time. He rolled up on his side, creating enough space for me to lie on my back, bringing us face-to-face.
It felt horribly intimate. I wasn’t just looking at him. I was smelling him and feeling the heat of his body.
My hands lay folded across my stomach. He tangled his fingers with mine, softly rubbing his thumb across the tiny strip of bare skin that’d been exposed when my shirt rode up.
“Better,” he said. “So, let’s get this out of the way. I know you were a kid. I was a kid. Neither of us had any control, and both of us were scared that Gus would love the other one more. The big difference was that you had your mom on your side, no matter what. I didn’t have anyone but Gus. That’s why he chose me, Peaches. And if he hadn’t done that, I’d probably be dead by now.”
“Yeah, I realize that now,” I told him. “But I couldn’t see it back then.”
“In fairness, I couldn’t see it either. I was used to living one meal to the next, hoping we’d land in a safe place for the night.”
I tried to imagine that, but I couldn’t. Mom wasn’t perfect, but she’d always been totally on top of the whole food/shelter/clothing thing.
Even when I started kindergart—
A sudden realization hit me, and I swallowed. Eli had lowered his head, bringing our faces closer.
“Eli, I have another question,” I said slowly. “Why did you get held back in the first grade?”
“Because I’d never been to school before. Didn’t even know the alphabet.”
“Did…?” I paused, licking my lips. That caught his attention, which was probably a good thing given what I needed to ask him. “Did I make fun of you because you couldn’t read?”
He pulled his hand free of mine, then slowly moved it up my center. It came to rest right below my collarbone.
“You made fun of me every single fucking day for two years,” he said, the words slow and even.
If I could’ve rolled into a ball and ceased to exist, that would’ve been the moment.
“I don’t think sorry quite cuts it,” I said after a long pause. “I really was the worst.”
Eli nodded his head, moving just a little bit closer. If I raised my head even an inch, I’d be kissing him.
“How come you don’t hate me?”
“Well, I’m older than you,” he said, sounding way too damn smug. “More mature. I like to think of you as this silly little butterfly that dances all sum—”
I crushed my mouth to his because after what he’d just said about me making fun of him, telling him to shut the fuck up was probably a bad move.
But listening to that butterfly shit wasn’t a real option, either.
Fortunately, Eli didn’t seem overly invested in continuing the conversation. Instead, he shifted his body and slanted his mouth down across mine, taking control.
There was a new power in him, I realized. One that had nothing to do with all that muscle he’d built while he was serving time. This strength was all mental, and I had a feeling it’d grown out of his need to survive.
My higher mind appreciated that and admired him for it. But in my gut, what I noticed first was how much that strength attracted me. I’d spent years thinking about what it might feel like, should I ever find myself under him again. Not that I’d have admitted that to anyone, including myself…but anytime he was in a room, I found myself fighting with him.
Fucked up? Yes.
Especially since memories were fickle creatures. Nobody felt as good as Eli had felt that night we’d almost had sex. My intellect understood this. My subconscious? Not so much. At one point, I’d read a book about retraining the brain, and decided to try writing letters to myself, explaining all the reasons that Fantasy Eli had nothing to do with Reality Eli.
Now, I found myself under him again, with my hands roaming his body as my legs begged to wrap around him. Time to face a hard truth—this was way, way better than I remembered.
The chemistry between us had always crackled. It was there when we kissed, taking charge in the same way it did when we fought. There was no denying it, either. Every time his lips brushed mine, desire scorched through me. Like wildfire.