Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 359(@250wpm)___ 299(@300wpm)
Why did I suddenly miss him?
Why did his scent comfort me when I thought I wanted nothing to do with him?
Why? Why? Why?
Softly, I ran my fingers across his desk, his chair, the walls and windows. Making my way around his sacred place until I was touching his black leather couch in the center of the room. Bringing the accent pillow up to my nose, I inhaled his musky cologne. He must have slept on this sofa the night before, it smelled of him.
I don’t know what came over me, but I laid down. Imagining him there, thinking about me. Tugging the throw blanket over my body, I set my head on the pillow I’d just smelled and started reading my book. Avoiding the emotions and questions which were hounding my thoughts.
The day quickly turned night, like it always did when I got captivated by a love story. My eyes began fluttering closed and I passed out cold. Merely to once again, dream about him watching me.
Except this time, I didn’t shoot straight up from a dead sleep. Instead, my gaze instinctually opened.
No panic.
No craze.
No uncertainty.
I locked eyes…
With him.
Chapter 28
—Sienna—
Question after question tore through my mind, catapulting my thoughts through a downward spiral of why he appeared so fucking broken.
His hair was disheveled as if he’d been trying to rip it out of his skull. He was still wearing his suit jacket, probably trying to cover the blood on his button-down shirt. Through a bloodshot, dark, dilated stare, he glared back at me with unyielding sentiments. Clawing at all my insecurities I spoke with Aurora about this afternoon.
For a second, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. He was showing me all his emotions which he’d never done before. I refused to let go of this moment, trying to ease my overly active imagination the only way I could, making up reasons and excuses for his unnerving behavior. This was all just so damn overwhelming and perplexing.
He was sitting in the armchair, closest to the couch I was sleeping on. His body hung forward with his elbows on his knees, while his hands were out in front of him in a prayer gesture. A bottle of Bourbon perched in between them. Behind his cold demeanor, I could tell he was internally battling something he’d never say out loud.
Especially, to me.
As soon as my eyes shifted to the seared cut on his upper lip, I fucking knew.
“You’re one of them now, aren’t you?”
He didn’t move.
He didn’t tense.
He didn’t make one sound.
His silence spoke volumes, deafening in my ears.
“Why?” I questioned, needing to know. Waiting on pins and needles for him to answer.
Since I was a little girl, I’d heard the rumors about La Famiglia’s initiation. My grandma once told me it was just hearsay, there was no certainty in an old wives’ tale. I didn’t believe it until this very moment.
“Do you understand what you’ve done, Cruz? You can never leave now. They completely own every last part of you. Their blood runs through your veins. You’re one of them forever. There’s no going back, you’re bound to them for life from here on out. Why? Please, just give me an explanation. I have to know why you’d willingly give your soul up like that. For what?”
“The day I lost focus, I lost my sister. I’m drawn to you, Sienna. I have been since the first time I laid eyes on you. I hate it because it left Adriana vulnerable. I won’t make that mistake twice. Come Hell or high water, I’ll do whatever I need to in order to find her.”
“There’s more to it than that, I can see it in your eyes.”
“You’re right. I’m a Martinez. It’s in my blood. I won’t make excuses for who I am, not even to you.”
“And what about my life, huh? I’m stuck now too.”
“Your life is my life. Till death do us part. You can act like you hate this world, but I know the truth. I can see it in your eyes as well, Sienna. Your blood is just like mine. We didn’t have a normal childhood. Fuck normal. The only reason you think you hate this world is because your father didn’t keep your mother safe. She died on his watch. That’s not hate.” He spoke with conviction, “It’s fear.”
I didn’t back down, revealing more truths, “They both mean the same to me.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes.”
“Bull-fucking-shit. I see you sleeping. I see you at peace. I see you smiling when you’re outside in the sun, the pool, your rose garden. I hear you humming our wedding song when you’re cooking, making the bed, walking down the fucking hallways. You laugh when you’re reading or watching movies. I. See. You. Sienna Martinez. You may hate me, but you don’t fear me…so yes, they’re two completely different things.”