Total pages in book: 161
Estimated words: 149338 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 149338 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 747(@200wpm)___ 597(@250wpm)___ 498(@300wpm)
He angled his forehead on top of mine for one split second, for a moment in time. I saw what he so desperately tried to hide.
His love.
“Alejan—”
He roughly flipped me over, placing me on my hands and knees. Taking me from behind, unable to control his desire to look into my eyes. To take me how he really wanted, to make me feel like I was his. Thrusting in and out of me with such urgency, such yearning, fighting a battle of right and wrong, for the first time in his life. I caught his tormented reflection in the mirror. Tears slid down my face as my lips quivered from the pain all around me. Not physically, but emotionally. I was grieving for what I lost, for what he was taking away from me. I gave him my body willingly, but all he wanted was to destroy my heart, leaving it shattered on his bed, finally achieving his goal.
Our eyes locked in the mirror and he showed me everything I so desperately wanted to see. A growl escaped from deep within his chest, allowing his demons to prevail. His body collapsed over mine, shoving my head down to the bed. Not allowing me to see the truth beneath the fiction.
He fucked me harder, more demanding, until finally I heard him groan and felt him shudder, shaking my body from his own orgasm. This was supposed to be his way of freeing me from his Hell, except it was the opposite. He had just dragged me deeper along with him, burning me alive.
I hissed when he pulled out, feeling the loss of his touch, my body almost collapsing on the silk sheets. He immediately got off the bed, leaving me in a pool of the pieces of my broken heart. Not saying anything as he shuffled around the room and disappeared into the bathroom. I closed my eyes, letting more tears stream down my face and onto his bed where a part of me would always remain. I would remember the sound of him pulling back up his zipper as he hovered over me.
“I warned you. I told you I don’t know how to love. I ordered you to stay away from me, time and time again. I’m notthe man you think I am.I never was... You wanted a piece of me, a piece of El Diablo. I gave you what you wanted, now get the fuck out of my room.”
I placed my hand over the hollow space where my heart used to lay, trying to breathe through the pain of his words. Shutting my eyes as tight as I could. Not strong enough to look up into his eyes, too weak to handle what I would see, or what I wouldn’t. I slowly eased my way off his bed as far away from him as possible. My body screaming for me not to move, I was so hurt, so broken, in every way possible.
Walking toward the door, I stopped. Whispering, “The man behind the expensive fucking suit,” my voice breaking, my body shaking, “is nothing but a fucking coward.”
And I left.
I was a bad man, but I never claimed to be anything else. I did what I had to do to save her fucking life, even if it meant destroying mine in the process. It took everything inside me not to reach for my gun and put a bullet in my fucking head, ending my misery.
My sorry excuse of a fucking life.
Death would be too easy, though. I didn’t deserve to rest in peace. Living was the price I paid for the lives I’d ended. Playing fucking God when I was really The Devil. I contemplated if I was really going to do this, for days, for nights, the entire time I was away from her. Praying I would find the courage I needed to pull it off.
I watched her on the security cameras from the other condo I owned in the building. Battling the life I wanted and the one I deserved. My mind was made up as soon as she laid in my bed. Wearing the same white collared shirt that brought back memories of the girl I spent years trying to forget. Realizing very, fucking quickly, what I had to do. My feet moved of their own accord as I made my way to the penthouse, taking the fucking stairs two at a time, not wanting to waste a minute waiting for the elevator. My shoes pounded into the steps, echoing through the stairwell. A fucking rope tugging me to her. Reassuring myself over and over again that I was doing the right thing.
I needed to be the hero for once.
Fucking exhausted of being the villain.
Lexi didn’t deserve a life full of violence, always looking over her shoulder, waiting for her time to come. I wanted her to live a life of happiness, a life I’d never be able to provide her.