Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 85950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 430(@200wpm)___ 344(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“There’s a free way,” I say, wishing my brain-to-mouth filter was working a little better right now.
She shakes her head, her cheeks flaming.
“You aren’t suggesting—”
“Sex, Adalynn. I’m saying you can get pregnant the old-fashioned way.”
She immediately shakes her head again, and that sting of rejection feels like the hundredth crack of a whip against my skin.
She seems stunned into silence, but that doesn’t stop my head from imagining her placing a loving hand over her belly where my baby grew.
She might have picked my donor number, but there were things I left out. She’s worried about picking someone with too high of aspirations in life. Although it hits another chord that she’s judged that donor and decided he’s the type to stick close to home, I’m glad she did pick that one.
If she goes through with this and uses the donor, then I won’t drive myself crazy thinking about another man’s baby being inside of her.
“Or I can go to the clinic with you,” I counter when she doesn’t look less appalled.
She takes in a deep breath, but she doesn’t immediately say anything.
“I’ll get the show queued up while you finish cutting fruit,” I tell her before walking out of the room.
Chapter 8
Adalynn
“I don’t think you understand,” I tell Madison.
“I understand completely. The man has offered to father your children. It’s not complicated.”
“Child, singular, not children,” I correct. “And it’s the most complicated thing in the world.”
“I think you’re looking at it the wrong way. You get to have sex with the man you’ve always wanted, and you don’t even have to poke holes in the condom to have his baby.”
I glare at her. “I would never do that.”
My words come out on a growl.
“Are you telling me you never had that thought before? You never pictured sleeping with him and accidentally getting pregnant or making sure you got pregnant?”
“Never,” I lie because it happened in a dream once, and I’m not responsible for that. It’s not the same as thinking of it while awake or making a plan for it. “Plus, we aren’t going to have sex. He’ll go to the clinic and—”
“Jack off into a cup? Come on, Ads, what a waste.”
“Don’t say,” I lean in and lower my voice, “jack off into a cup. It’s gross.”
“Yes. It’s gross. That’s why you should throw that man down on the bed and jump on his co—”
“Madison!”
Her laughter fills the bakery, and I’m glad no one else is in here right now. She always comes by for a visit in the middle of the afternoon when there’s a lull. It ensures that we have enough time to gossip without being overheard.
“I say go with what the man offered. You’ll get a few orgasms and a baby.”
“And then what? Go right back to being besties?” I scoff. “Do you really think I’d be able to do that? To see him holding our child and not feel like I’m missing out on something?”
Her face grows serious.
“On second thought, it’s a horrible idea.”
I deflate a little with her words. “Why is that?”
“You could never go back. The man doesn’t want a family. He’s just offering you a solution to your problem.”
I thought as much last night when I tossed and turned until the sun started to peek out from the horizon.
“So go with the donor?”
A wicked smile crosses her face as she shakes her head.
“Give him the best sex of his life and make him want what you want.”
I close my eyes and point my face up to the vaulted ceiling.
“You’ve got to stop it with this idea you have about him secretly being in love with me.”
“It’s only a secret to you and Cash.”
I drop my eyes back to her. “I think that if Cash felt that way for me, he’d tell me. The man is an open book.”
“Just give it a go. I can guarantee that he’ll get one taste of you and will never let you go.”
Such things are easy for her to imagine. Madison is pregnant and not only in love with but loved in return by the man she’s always pictured herself living out her happiest days with. Plus, she doesn’t know Cash the way I do.
When the man says that he doesn’t want kids, he means it. When he says he’ll give me what I want with no expectations, that is the truth on both sides. He’s not the type of guy who changes his mind in the middle of doing something.
“The clinic is the best way to go,” I say, resolute.
“With Cash’s sperm?”
I shake my head. “The donor.”
“I say it’s going to be a lifelong regret.”
“I wouldn’t ever regret having a baby.”
“Not the baby, Adalynn. You’ll regret not having that experience with Cash. Maybe you won’t get pregnant the first month. You could have sex with him and not have to worry about seeing him hold your baby. You can do the IUI the next month.”