Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 78304 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78304 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 392(@200wpm)___ 313(@250wpm)___ 261(@300wpm)
“Oh, Ana. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“It wasn’t you.” I sniffle. “It’s me. I wasn’t supposed to be a wife or a mom. I was meant to run numbers, and now …” I shake my head, not ready to admit that I’m pregnant yet. Julian should be the first person I tell. “I’m not good at this, I don’t want to be good at this, and Julian deserves to have a wife who’s good at this. I’m going to suck at it, and he’s going to resent me, and I’ll resent him right back, and where will that leave us?”
Helen hands me a tissue, and I wipe my face and blow my nose.
“You don’t suck at anything,” Helen says kindly. “But regardless, my son is in love with you, and that’s not going to change over who cooks and cleans.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I agree noncommittally as more thoughts fill my head, like, Who’s going to stay home with the baby?
My mom raised me with very little help from the nannies, and while I didn’t mind the nannies, my fondest memories are of the time spent with my mom.
Can I give it all up, everything I’ve wanted for my future, to be the mom this baby deserves?
And what about Julian? This is exactly what my dad was talking about when he said he wanted to hire a family man. Someone who knows how to balance work and family. Something neither of us knows how to do.
With the flooding of thoughts and questions, I start to cry again, my emotions in overdrive. Helen hugs me tightly, telling me everything will be okay, and once I’ve gotten myself together, we make dinner. And by we, I mean she makes it, and I watch while we talk about nothing of substance.
By the time dinner is ready, I barely look like I’ve been crying, yet from the look on Julian’s face, I can tell he suspects something is wrong. The way he’s in tune with my thoughts and emotions is kind of crazy.
Thankfully, he doesn’t comment on it, and we have a nice dinner with delicious lasagna, garlic bread, and salad. After dessert, we say our goodbyes and head home. And when I tell Julian that I’m tired and I’m going to head to bed, he insists on joining me.
As I fall asleep in his arms, I vow to figure this out soon. Julian and I are both so much like my dad, and I can’t allow what happened with my parents to happen to us.
chapter thirty-one
ANASTASIA
“Hey, Josie. Is Julian in his office?”
He’s been in back-to-back meetings all day, but I’m hoping to catch him to see about leaving early tonight so we can talk. I’ve decided that I’m going to tell him about the baby tonight. And then I’m going to tell my dad that I’m taking a step back. Being a mom isn’t what I planned for, but now that it’s happening, I want to be the best mom I can be. The same way my mom was to me.
“He should be,” she says as I stride past her desk and straight toward his office.
His door is slightly ajar, and before I knock to let him know I’m coming in, in case he’s in a meeting, I hear my father’s voice, halting me in place.
“I know you’re just the man for the job,” Dad says as I peek in and watch him extend his hand to Julian.
“Thank you,” Julian says, shaking his hand.
“Welcome to the family, son.”
They hug, and my entire body goes cold.
Dad wasn’t supposed to pick a new CEO until December, yet he went behind my back and chose Julian? And he couldn’t even tell me first? I know I said I planned to step down, but, damn, it still hurts knowing that my dad really doesn’t believe I’m capable of taking his place as CEO.
I knew there was a chance he’d pick Julian, but to be honest, I really didn’t believe he would do it. I’m his daughter, his own flesh and blood. I’ve busted my ass for years, trying to prove myself in the business world.
But I’m not good enough.
And if I’m not even good at what I know, how the hell am I going to be good at what I don’t know?
I’ve failed at business. And now, I’m going to fail at being a wife and a mom.
Without waiting for their meeting to end, I grab my purse from my office and take off. Since we rode in together, I call for a car service to pick me up. It takes a while since we live in a small town, so I use the time to get a drink and cry.
Once I’m home, I eat something since I’m starving and then lie on the couch to watch some mindless television while I wait for Julian to get home.