Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 92069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92069 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 460(@200wpm)___ 368(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“But . . . what if the rules are keeping you from moving on? What if they keep you from being happy?”
“The rules keep me from making mistakes,” I said, standing as tall as I could, shoulders back. Walls in place. “At least, they’re supposed to.”
She wrapped her arms around herself again. “What does that mean?”
“It means what we just did was stupid and reckless.”
“Is that all?”
I forced myself to say the words. “And it means we need to stop screwing around with each other. Enough is enough.”
“Screwing around with each other?” Her mouth hung open. “Is that all this is to you?”
“What else would it be?”
“I don’t know, Griffin. I guess I kind of thought we had something special.”
“Well, you were wrong.”
Her eyes shone with tears that threatened to pierce my resolve. “Where is this coming from? One minute you’re apologizing for being a dick and opening up about this traumatic thing from your past, and the next minute, you double down on asshole. I have whiplash.”
I shrugged, tripling down. “I never made you any promises.”
“I never asked for one!”
“But you would have,” I said bitterly. “It was only a matter of time.”
“The only thing I was going to ask was to keep seeing you.” The tears dripped from her eyes, and she angrily swiped at them.
“No. When you leave, this is over.”
“Why? We’re good together, Griffin. At least we were up until five minutes ago.”
“And then what?” I asked, growing agitated, because I didn’t know how to make her understand. “We keep seeing each other, and then what?”
“I don’t know! We just see where it goes.”
“But there’s a limit, Blair. There’s a limit to how far we can take this. We don’t want the same things.” I pointed at her. “You want a fairy tale, and I’m no prince.”
“That’s not true!”
“Yes, it is. Your ten-year plan doesn’t look anything like mine.”
“But things could change,” she wept. “Couldn’t they?”
“No.” I started pacing at the foot of the bed. “See, this is why I have the rules. And if I would have fucking stuck to them and kept my hands to myself, this wouldn’t be happening.”
“But you created those rules for yourself when you were hurting—you needed to heal before you could move on.”
“I needed to be real about what I was capable of,” I said harshly, turning to face her. “And you do too.”
She shrank back almost as if I’d slapped her. “So it really was just about the sex for you?”
I looked down at her crying on the bed, and my hands clenched into fists. My arms ached to hold her. But all that would do was postpone the inevitable. “Yes,” I lied, knowing I’d never forgive myself for hurting her this way. “You were right all along. I was lonely, and you were here—I took advantage of it, and I’m sorry.”
“Liar!” she cried, jumping to her feet. “You’re not sorry! All your apologies are lies. I thought you were different, but you’re just like everyone else. I never should have trusted you.”
Her words cut me to the bone. She was right—I was a liar, but not in the way she thought.
And I didn’t have money or fame or status, but I had honor, and it killed me to let her think otherwise. But before I could defend myself—if it was even possible—she raced out of the bedroom and yanked the door shut behind her.
With a heavy sadness I hadn’t felt since losing my dad, I sank down onto the bed, head in my hands.
I was alone again.
But it felt terrible.
Eighteen
Blair
First thing I did was throw out that stupid anniversary cake, hurling it into the trash with all the might I could muster.
Asshole! How could you do this to me?
Then I spent the night curled into one corner of the couch, crying my eyes out. Bisou eventually found her way over to me and snuggled up in my lap, but it only made me bawl harder.
God, I was so dumb! So naive! Of course he was just in it for the sex! When had a guy ever truly felt something for me, felt it enough to commit to something that would last?
Never. That was the hard truth. Yet I’d been sucked into believing in the possibility, because deep down, Griffin was right—I was nothing but a little girl who wanted to believe in fairy tales.
“Maybe it’s time for some rules of my own, Bisou,” I whispered fiercely to the cat. “Number one—no more believing everything a man says, because they lie. All of them.”
The cat meowed in agreement.
“Number two—I will work and save, so that I am never dependent on a man again. I will always be able to support myself.”
The cat raised a paw, almost like she wanted a high five, so I gave her one.
Then I thought for a moment. “And number three—I will not get my heart set on anything, because it never ends well.”