Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
“She didn’t get where Daddy had gone,” I said softly.
Lottie drew an audible breath into her nose and sat back.
I pointed to myself with my cinnamon-and-cream-cheese-frosting-smeared fork. “It hurt me, what he did. I loved him. Even if he’d just cheated on me once, it would have destroyed me. But he didn’t cheat on me once. He cheated in a way he cheated on us both. He carried on a whole other life that didn’t have us in it. And he had to go. But by getting rid of him, I kicked out my daughter’s father. I took him away from her—”
“You did not, he did that,” Ryn said firmly.
I turned to her.
“You get, though, that I had to live with her confusion, and she was only five. She didn’t understand at all what was going down. But I know she hurt. And a mother cannot handle her child’s hurt. It doesn’t just get swept away by rational thoughts and understanding you’re doing the right thing. When your baby hurts, you hurt.”
No one said anything for long beats before Evie spoke.
“We haven’t touched on that. The fact Corbin wants you back.”
I shook my head and dug into my roll again, saying, “He hasn’t followed up on it. Nothing. Juno goes back to him after school today. He and I are finally getting into a rhythm. We don’t really speak anymore unless something comes up we have to speak about. The thing is, he’s very competitive. I think he was just triggered by the idea of someone invading his turf.”
“Do you mean his turf, as in you? Or his turf, as in, there might be a man in Juno’s life?” Ryn asked.
“Me,” I said. “And maybe both of us. It’s not based in any reality, but Corbin is that type of guy. I’ve had the chance to think about it since he said he was going to fix us, and I should have known, in that particular sense, if I moved on from him, he would never take it lying down. He’d act up. It’d be a thing. Then we’d get over that thing.”
“Do you think somewhere in the back of your mind you were considering this possibility, that Corbin would insert himself in the situation, and that was another reason why you didn’t try things with Auggie?” Evie queried.
I thought about that.
Then I said, “Yes.”
Everyone grew silent.
I ate my roll.
Hattie broke the silence.
“What now?”
Of all of this, that question was easy.
“What now is that I have to doubly consider where I’m at because I don’t want to be one of those bitches who jacks Auggie around,” I stated.
“Oh my God,” Ryn groaned as she fell back to the couch.
Evie rolled her eyes at Hattie.
Lottie glared at me. “Are you serious right now?”
“Yes!” I cried. “I mean those women—”
She clapped. “Babe.” She clapped twice more. “Stop it.”
“You did not just clap at me,” I said low.
“You’re making excuses,” Ryn decreed. “Before, like Lottie said, we got it. Now…it’s bullshit.”
“Totes,” Evie agreed.
“I’m not a mom,” Hattie started, “but I get that hesitation. And when Axl told me about what women did to Auggie, I hurt for him. But I have to say, it sounds like you’re fishing for ways to protect your heart.”
“What if I am?” I snapped. “It’s not like the last time I gave it to someone turned out all that great.”
“So lock up those girl parts, sister,” Lottie said dismissively. “And we’ll be done with this. Because…no.”
“Is there an energy for being a cop-out?” Ryn asked.
Evie snickered.
I was the one glaring now, at Ryn…and Evie.
“You know, just let him off the hook so he can move on. This is getting to the point it’s…not nice,” Hattie said quietly.
And there it was.
I had half a cinnamon roll suspended on a plate in front of me, and I sat motionless, horrified.
Because I was already one of those bitches that had fucked with Auggie’s head.
I had not told a one of them I’d had sex with him.
I did not share that now either, for obvious reasons.
But…
What was I doing?
Ryn cut into my thoughts.
“And let’s hark way back to the whole Juno-trying-to-fix-you-up thing. I mean, as you know, I’m not a mom either. But I think she’s trying to tell you something.”
“What she’s trying to say is, she sees all her mom’s girls loved up and settling in and she’s a part of this world,” I returned. “She understands partnering up. She undoubtedly remembers what it was like back when her dad and I were together. She wants me to be happy like that. She wants me to be happy like you all.”
“I think the takeaway from that is she wants you to be happy,” Ryn stressed.
“Don’t dismiss that,” Evie said hurriedly. “Really. Because, straight up, for the people we love, that’s all we want for them.”