Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I sucked in a breath, taking in the clean, cool sea air. “I get it.”
“You’ve always been so focused, Jacob. But with that focus comes a lack of flexibility. I know you want this promotion, but what happens if you didn’t get it? Say they chose to give it to someone else.”
I raised my eyebrows. “I don’t want to blow my own trumpet, but it’s unlikely.”
“Of course,” Zach replied, unsuccessfully covering his sarcasm. “But just say some overseas specialist came in—or maybe they got rid of the role entirely. Then what?”
“Then I’d figure out another way to . . . Oh, so you’re saying if it’s possible to find another way if it’s forced on me, then . . .”
“Then if Sutton’s worth it, you can figure out another way of getting what you want. But more than that, maybe Sutton is part of your ultimate goal and you just haven’t let yourself see it yet.”
We continued walking as I thought about the reality of taking myself out of the running to head up the foundation program. I wouldn’t know what direction I was headed if I did that, but maybe Zach was right and I was missing other opportunities because I was so set in one direction.
“Say for argument’s sake that I dropped the idea of the promotion. And maybe Sutton is part of my ultimate goal . . .” I paused. There was no doubt being with her made me happy. I could see us together, whacking each other with tea towels like Mum and Dad did, laughing about nothing, sticking by each other. I could see that future and it made me happy. “I think being with Sutton would make me happy. But none of that matters because Sutton has her own reasons why she can’t be with me.”
Zach sighed. “Maybe she’s questioning those reasons too.”
Sutton was at the very start of her career. She had almost two years of the foundation program left. I knew how important it was for her to prove herself during those two years. She wasn’t going to give that up—not for me, and not for anything. “I doubt it.”
“Maybe she just needs to understand how you feel.”
She knew how I felt. She knew I didn’t want to end things, even though we were forced to. “I don’t want to put any pressure on her.”
“You know her best,” he said.
I knew her better than Zach did. But I wanted to know more. And I wanted to know her forever.
Thirty-Three
Sutton
I hadn’t been in the lecture theatre since our first two weeks in the hospital, which seemed like a lifetime ago. But in just two weeks we were on to our next rotations, and Wanda was about to announce who was going where.
I couldn’t help be pulled back to the moment I’d seen Jacob standing in front of me, realizing he wasn’t in Africa. I couldn’t regret what had happened between us—I just wish it hadn’t been doomed from the start.
We filed in and took our spots. The only difference was I wasn’t sitting near Gilly this time. I’d steered clear of her since our conversation outside Jacob’s house. There’d been no leaked rumors about me and Jacob so I knew she hadn’t said anything. Either she believed what I’d said about dropping off a book or she understood that she shouldn’t cross me. I didn’t care which one it was.
“Feels like old times,” Veronica said.
It did and it didn’t. I was less enthusiastic than I had been a little over three months ago. Since then, I’d fallen in love and had to give him up. For this job. The decision had robbed me of my enthusiasm. Hopefully it would come back.
“Do you know what rotation you want next?” I asked.
“I don’t mind,” she said. “I’m going to see where the wind blows.”
What a privilege it was to just let things take their course. This was probably the first time since I’d left my mum’s house at sixteen that I’d had such a luxury.
“I heard they’re going to be announcing the top six FY1s today—one for each rotation,” Veronica said.
Everyone was so worked up about the award, but I knew a job in this hospital was the real prize.
“We’re only two weeks away. I heard if you don’t win recognition along the way, it doesn’t exclude you from the final prize.” She shrugged.
“Who did you hear this from?”
“A couple of people.”
Wanda came in waving a clipboard in her hand. “Let’s get to it. None of us have time to mess about. Just to reiterate—nothing has changed. When I announce which rotations you’re in next, there is no discussion, no swapping, no special cases. You will take the next rotation you are given without complaint or comment. Is that understood?” She looked up from where she was running her finger down a page.