Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80651 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 403(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Our shifts didn’t always coincide but when they did, it wasn’t fear that spread through me anymore. It was relief. I loved working alongside him. He was a terrific teacher. I’d heard from some of the doctors on different rotations that plenty of consultants found FY1s irritating. Jacob seemed to really want the foundation doctors to learn, and he seemed to enjoy teaching them. I was a better student around him because I wanted to impress him. I found myself more engaged and less nervous because he was so committed. The more time I spent around him, the more I wanted to be around him.
The more I wished we weren’t working in the same hospital.
I was pretty sure I wasn’t the only foundation doctor with a borderline obsession with Dr. Cove, but I might be the only one that had also seen him naked.
Maybe if we hadn’t had that one night together, I wouldn’t be so conscious of him. Perhaps I wouldn’t think he was one of the most magnetic people I’d ever been around. But we had had that night together and now, despite those first few days of panic and regret, I was grateful I had.
Jacob shifted, leaned over the arm of his seat, and looked back down the coach. We locked eyes and I don’t know what was the matter with me, but I couldn’t look away.
And he didn’t either.
It was as if time had frozen, and it was just him and me on that coach, trying to communicate how we wished things were different.
Things weren’t different.
I offered him a small, sorrowful smile and he gave a long blink and nodded slowly.
The coach turning sharply brought us back into the moment. Jacob rose to his feet.
“Get your things together. This is the hotel.”
I glanced out of the window to see a red-bricked, stately home sweep into view. I couldn’t quite believe my eyes. I’d expected to be at an Ibis or Travelodge. Maybe it would be horrible when we got inside. Either side of the coach, swathes of carefully manicured green lawn stretched out as far as the eye could see.
“Before you ask, there will be no time for golf,” Jacob bellowed from the front.
Wow, this was really nice. It was the kind of hotel more suited for a romantic break than an NHS offsite meeting. But I wasn’t going to complain.
“Are we paying for this?” Gilly asked as Jacob stood up.
“Nope,” he answered, without further explanation.
Our bags and cases were taken by hotel staff and we were guided straight into a conference room.
There were five round tables in the room, each with four or five chairs around them.
“Please take a seat at the table with the sign for your rotation,” Jacob said.
I took a seat with Gilly and pulled out a notebook, ready for a day of listening and watching Jacob.
I wasn’t sure if it would be heaven or hell.
Seventeen
Jacob
The morning had gone well, but I was looking forward to getting out into the sunshine. I strode across the lawn toward the haystack maze, leading twenty-five foundation doctors like I was the pied piper. The morning had focused on learning from our mistakes and the most common issues for new foundation doctors. Most of it boiled down to communication, so this afternoon I had devised games that encouraged the doctors to understand the difficulty of communicating in a stressed environment and how it was important to do it anyway. I’d revised the program a little since I’d first spoken to Gerry, and as usual, him pushing me had made things better.
This morning, my gaze had wandered to Sutton more than it should have. It was completely subconscious. I was just drawn to her. She was quietly so determined and confident; it was palpable. She was one of the quieter members of the group. There were doctors like Gilly, David, and Thomas who made their presence felt. I’d learned a long time ago, they were rarely the best doctors. Sutton was the graceful swan in a pond full of over-excited minnows. She wasn’t trying to stand out or get my attention—quite the opposite. But she had my attention anyway.
When I got to the haystacks, everyone fanned out in front of me. I slid on my sunglasses. Yes, the sun was out, but my shades were there to cover my subconscious pull toward Sutton. “I’m going to split you into teams of five. Each team will take one of the five activities. Each activity should take around three quarters of an hour to complete. There’s a volunteer at each station to show you what to do. I’ll be going between groups to observe.”
The doctors stood in front of me, most of them nudging each other and swapping in-jokes.
“This activity is a haystack maze. You’re going to have to find your way through to collect the prize at the center, then find your way out the other side. You’ll be teamed up in pairs. One of you will be in the maze, blindfolded, with your hands tied together, and the other one will be standing on the tower, directing their partner.” I nodded toward a platform overlooking the waist-high maze. Each of you will have a chance to direct and be blindfolded. It will be a time trial. Fastest couple wins.”