Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 83343 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83343 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 417(@200wpm)___ 333(@250wpm)___ 278(@300wpm)
We swap hellos, order drinks and then come back to our table. As soon as we’re seated, Sutton reaches for my arm. “How are you?”
She knows he’s gone.
“I’m fine,” I say, but the crack in my voice gives me away. “I always knew he wouldn’t stay for long.”
She sighs. “I thought he might have had a change of heart. Seeing him with you was so…refreshing. I’ve never seen that sweet side of Vincent. Don’t get me wrong, he’s amiable and upbeat, but he was so attentive and concerned with your happiness. It was lovely.”
I have to take a deep breath. I don’t want to lose it in front of people. “He is lovely,” I manage to squeak out.
“Have you heard from him?” she asks.
I shake my head, dropping my gaze to my tea. “I didn’t expect to. How are you?” I ask.
“Jacob says he’ll come around,” she says, ignoring my question.
“No,” I reply, meeting her eyes. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me hope when I know there is none. I understand that…the things that went on when he was a child…it’s wounded him. I get it. I understand all too well.” I let out a shallow laugh. “How ironic that Vincent actually helped me heal some of my wounds.” I swallow, blinking back tears. “I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”
Sutton reaches for my arm. “You mean bringing you to Norfolk?”
“Yes, that was a great example. But just being with him shifted things. I miss him.” My voice breaks again and I pause. “I’ll always miss him. I just have to get used to it. But now I believe the future can be brighter. I’m not frightened of things shifting and changing so much anymore.”
“Have you thought of reaching out?” she asks.
I pick up my cup and take a sip of green tea. “No,” I say. “Not because I don’t want to listen to his beautiful voice or hear about his day, but because I’m not what he wants. It’s better if he’s free to chase something that will do for him what he’s done for me—heal him.”
“You might be that person,” Sutton says.
But I know I’m not.
She must see the expression on my face because she lifts up a finger to stop me saying anything to the contrary. “Just hear me out. I have a theory. Vincent seems like he has a commitment phobia. We both know that comes from his childhood. But I think he’s desperate not to care for anyone in case they leave him. Just like his dad did.”
I let her words sink in. “Yes, that makes sense,” I say. My heart starts to pick up pace, from a trot to a canter. “But it doesn’t change anything.”
“Unless he needs some kind of assurance you won’t abandon him.”
My heart breaks into a gallop. “Assurance. Like a guarantee? Or a pledge or something? How would that work? Even marriages can end in divorce. There are no guarantees in life.”
Her shoulders collapse and she sighs. “I know. I don’t know how you could convince him you won’t let him down.”
Is that what Vincent needs from me? Commitment? It always seemed he wanted the exact opposite—his freedom to wander. But maybe what he really craves is comfort and security.
“He left me before I could abandon him.” I say it out loud the instant the realization dawns.
“I think so.” Sutton doesn’t need to confirm it. It all slots into place.
My mind races through possibilities. I don’t know how I’ll convince him that I’m not going anywhere, but for the first time since he left, hope blooms in my chest.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Vincent
I arrive early for lunch with Jacob and Beau. I flew into London from Tucson overnight and despite my shower, the fog of the red-eye hasn’t left me. If I stayed in the hotel, I would have fallen asleep.
My phone buzzes with the arrival of an email. It’s the training plan from Olga, addressed to Michael. I’m only copied in and usually wouldn’t bother to open it, but there’s every chance this email holds some clue to how Kate is doing. I’ll take whatever scrap of news I can get.
I open the document and search for her name. Nothing comes up. Then I scan the document for heads of department. I find her new title in a section of the email about Service Experience, which sets out the plan for department heads to travel to London and stay at the Four Seasons—the hotel I’m currently staying at—tomorrow night.
Kate and I are going to be in the same hotel at the same time.
Adrenaline surges in my veins and then my stomach drops. How will she cope coming to London? She’ll be away from Crompton with no way of getting back quickly if she finds she can’t manage. A mixture of fear and protectiveness grow in me. I’m no good for her, but that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring about her.