Total pages in book: 125
Estimated words: 121576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 608(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121576 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 608(@200wpm)___ 486(@250wpm)___ 405(@300wpm)
And worse, I hated feeling disappointment to see Sydney was calling me.
“Hey, Syd,” I answered, plopping down on the edge of the bed. I picked at the hem of my top.
“Hey! How are you?”
“Good.” Good? I was so far from good it wasn’t even funny. “How are you?”
“I’m great! You know, the same really. Not, like, great because of other reasons or anything…Nothing’s going on.”
I could vaguely hear my brother’s voice in the distance. Then Sydney spoke away from the phone. Her voice was muffled.
“Anyway,” she said, clear in my ear again. “I was wondering if you were supposed to watch Marley on Wednesday because, if not, I thought maybe you’d like to come over for lunch. I’m off for the day.”
Wednesday was another Marley day for me. Tomorrow was as well, and even though Nathan still had hours left to call before my plans for the next two days became obvious, somewhere in my mind, where awareness flowered from fear to a fact I could no longer ignore, I already knew I wouldn’t see Marley.
“No. I’m free,” I answered. “I just have some work I’ll need to do in the morning, and then I can come over with the kids.”
“Awesome. Want to do one o’clock? I’m taking Sir to the dog park to meet up with some of his furry friends at eleven. We should be home by then.”
“Yeah, that works. Do you want me to bring anything?”
“I don’t think so. I got it.”
“Okay. I’ll see you Wednesday at one.”
“Hey, Jenna?”
“Mm?”
“Is everything okay? You seem a little off…”
I wanted to tell Sydney what was going on. I could’ve used another opinion, but I also felt like this was a discussion we could save and have face-to-face. I didn’t know if I was up for it tonight.
Hope whispered in the back of my mind. And maybe he’ll call tomorrow. The discussion won’t even be needed. I squeezed my eyes shut and blocked it out.
“Shut up, Ollie!” Olivia yelled from the hallway. “You don’t know that!”
I frowned at the door.
“Yes, I do! I know it for a fact!”
“No, you don’t, idiot!”
“You’re an idiot!”
A door slammed, followed by another. I heard something hit the wall behind my bed.
I quickly got to my feet. “Sorry, I gotta go, Syd. The kids are fighting for some reason.”
“Okay, no problem. See you Wednesday!”
“See ya.”
I dropped the phone on the bed after ending the call, then hurried down the hallway and stopped at Olivia’s door. I opened it without knocking. Privacy didn’t exist when objects were being chucked at my walls.
“What was that?” I asked, stepping inside her room. “And why are you two yelling at each other?”
Olivia was on her bed, lying on her side so I couldn’t see her face. The notebook she always carried around was open on the floor in front of her dresser. The pages were bent up under its weight. I knew that was the object she’d thrown.
I picked up the notebook and carried it over to the bed, taking a seat behind her. “Olivia, what’s going on?”
“Ollie said you and Nate broke up.” Her voice was quiet and sad. “He said that’s why we aren’t going over there anymore. But he’s wrong.” Olivia sniffled and peered over her shoulder at me. “He’s wrong, right, Mama? That’s not true…” Tears glistened in her eyes.
For a moment I didn’t answer her, mainly because I couldn’t answer her. I knew the reason for Nathan’s silence, but I couldn’t deny how it felt on day four. This felt like a breakup.
“Mom.” Olivia whimpered. She began to cry.
“Baby, I’m sorry.” I placed my hand on her hip and fought tears of my own. “Things are just complicated right now…I know this is hard to understand.”
“What happened? Everything was so good!”
“Nothing happened.”
“Then why isn’t Nate here? Why isn’t he here, Mom! And why can’t we go over to his house? We should be there with him! He wants us to be. I know it! I know he does! We’re supposed to be together!”
“Hey, shh.” I leaned over Olivia and pulled her glasses off, setting them on the small table beside her bed. Then I wiped away her tears. “It’s going to be okay, I promise,” I said, kissing her shoulder. I pushed strands of hair back off her forehead. “We’re always okay, right? Me, you, and your brother—”
“No! We’re not okay, Mom! We need Nate!” She turned her face into the pillow and sobbed. “We’re not going to be okay. I know we won’t!”
My heart ached so badly, I wanted to tear it out of my chest. Olivia really believed we weren’t going to be okay, and it was my fault that she did.
“Baby, I need you to listen to me,” I began, resting my hand on her arm. “You know, Mommy has always dreamed of finding the perfect dad for you and your brother because I wanted this version of a complete family so badly, but we’re already a family. We’re the best I could ever want—just us. We don’t need anything more than what we have to be happy, and I am so sorry for making you think we do.”