Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108173 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 541(@200wpm)___ 433(@250wpm)___ 361(@300wpm)
“Morning.” The low raspy growl came from the kitchen behind her and she turned to face Ben, who stood behind the massive butcher block island. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his hair was mussed, as if he, too, had just woken up.
“Morning.” She returned his greeting a little self-consciously as their argument of the night before came back to her.
“Eggs or pancakes?” he asked, and she was taken aback by the inane question.
“You’re cooking?” she asked in surprise while stifling a yawn. She couldn’t recall ever seeing him cook before. He heated up and ordered in.
“Trudy has the weekend off, remember?”
She did not remember that at all. The last week-and-a-half had been a blur and she hadn’t noticed much of anything. It took her a second to even remember that today was Sunday.
“Uh… pancakes, I suppose.” His lips quirked at the corners, and his eyes smiled at her. The expression was warm and unexpected and Lilah wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“You’ve always been a complete sucker for pancakes,” he said. His tone fond and reminiscent.
“It was the only thing Gramps could make,” she said with a nostalgic smile. “Which is why I always asked for it whenever he got the urge to cook. Breakfast, lunch, dinner… if Gramps was cooking, I’d request pancakes. It saved his ego. And of course, I really do love pancakes and he made great ones.”
“I didn’t know…” His voice husked up and he cleared his throat with an awkward cough. “I didn’t know Cyrus couldn’t cook. I thought you always asked for pancakes because—”
“Because I’m an entitled brat who never considers anyone else’s preferences?” she completed for him and a frown flitted across his brow before he shrugged. She refused to be distracted by the play of muscles in those broad, powerful shoulders and shifted her eyes to his face…
Not better.
“You did a great job of saving his pride, Lilah, because I never had a clue.”
“I had twelve years with him before you showed up, Ben,” she said, keeping her voice gentle, not wanting him to feel that it was in any way a slight. “I knew him very well. I don’t think he even realized why I kept asking him for pancakes. I learned early on that there was one thing he cooked very well and it swiftly became my favorite meal.” She laughed fondly at the memory. “I don’t think his vanity allowed him to acknowledge what a truly terrible cook he was.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Ben said sounding thoughtful. “I used to feel petty as fuck, because I kind of resented that he never asked me what I wanted. Now I’m guessing he only asked you because he knew what you would want. And he knew he could deliver.”
Lilah smiled, liking Ben’s take, enjoying the notion that Gramps had known she’d had his back like that.
“I thought you were being selfish,” Ben said, his rasp several decibels lower than usual and her eyes searched his face for some clue as to why he sounded so melancholy. As usual, his beautiful features told her nothing… but his clear blue eyes screamed his emotions louder than any words could. In them she saw shame, regret, and sadness. A depth of sadness that took her breath away.
“Because you never asked Cyrus or me what we wanted, never considered that maybe we’d want something else for a change. It never once occurred to me that…” His voice petered off, as if he wasn’t sure how to end that sentence. The uncertainty was new in Ben. He was always so sure of exactly what he wanted to do and say. Lilah let him flounder… choosing not to make this any easier for him.
Ben watched her for a long moment, the sadness now replaced with mute apology. He exhaled softly and lifted his shoulders in an odd, uncertain, almost helpless way.
He released her eyes and busied himself in the kitchen. Lilah watched him for a few minutes and then shook herself. She should probably shower and start packing. She could move back into the house she’d shared with Gramps in Constantia. Gretchen was there, they could keep each other company while Lilah figured out her next steps. There was also the house in Bantry Bay… everything in her balked at the thought.
No. Too many memories there and she wasn’t quite prepared to face them yet.
There was always Blake, but her friend enjoyed living alone. She came from a large family where she’d had to share a bedroom with three sisters. She liked not sharing her space now and, though she knew Blake would welcome her with open arms, Lilah was reluctant to ask her to, even for a short while.
She wasn’t ready to tell any of her hoes about her marriage, and so couldn’t approach any of them.