Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 74876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74876 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 374(@200wpm)___ 300(@250wpm)___ 250(@300wpm)
“That’s a bullshit answer. For the past year, I’ve spent damn near every day with you, a lot of that time on the mats, letting you pound in my face and pick apart my weaknesses. I trusted you with my training. I trust you with this job. But beyond that? I don’t know, Cole. Because I don’t fucking know you.”
Cole handed him another Bud Light, sat in the chair across from him, and took a long draw from his bottle. Then he stared at him. Drank again. More staring.
At last, he leaned back and closed his eyes. “I fell in love many years ago.”
“With a stripper?”
“A belly dancer. She floated up to me on the street like a damn angel emerging from a mist. Her smile… Fuck, it was so blinding it stopped me on my motorcycle and leveled my entire world.” His leg bounced. Then stilled. “I asked her to marry me. Then I chose my job over her.”
“The secret agent job?”
“Don’t call it that.” He cracked his eyes open, glaring through the slits. “I was sent out in the field for a while. Mistakes were made, and I was forced to fake my death to protect her. By the time I cleaned up the mess, quit the job, and returned home to her, she’d fallen in love with my best friend.”
“Ouch.”
“She’s happy. That’s all I ever wanted.”
“I don’t believe that. I’ve seen the wedding ring you wear on the chain under your shirt. A woman’s ring. She’s inked on your arm, and unless you’re hiding a health problem, your dick still works. You’re still a man. But I’m guessing you haven’t had sex with anyone since her.”
“There isn’t a woman out there who comes close to the one I had.”
“Trust me, Cole. You have to let go and move on. If you’re afraid of falling in love again—”
“I will always love her. End of.” Cole steadily met his eyes. No defensive anger. No emotion at all. “My refusal to bed random women has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with self-control.”
“I get it. I fucking lived it.” He softened his voice, recalling his own pain and the celibacy that accompanied it. “Caroline was only fourteen when she died. As innocent as it sounds, I saved myself for her. Then Van happened. A fucking traumatizing way to lose your virginity. He and Liv forced me to perform sexual acts, but I didn’t willingly touch a woman for the first time until much later. Those were some dark years.”
“What changed?”
“I was so goddamn lonely that I went out one night and got laid. Just like that. I don’t even remember her face. Doesn’t matter. It was the intimacy that I needed. It pushed me out of the dark.” He met Cole’s eyes. “You’re making a regrettable mistake if you condemn yourself to loneliness for the rest of your life.”
Cole’s gaze slid toward the back bedroom and locked on something out of view.
Tomas couldn’t see around the corner, but he knew she was there. His neck stiffened. “Eavesdropping again, Rylee?”
“Leave Cole alone.” She shuffled into the room, looking ragged and filthy and breathtakingly gorgeous. “He’s not like you.”
Cole winged up an eyebrow.
Tomas tensed as she looked at the front door, scoped out the kitchen, and returned to the door. She reeked of desperation. To find food. To run for her life. Neither was an option until she spilled her secrets.
“Go take a shower.” He guzzled down the second beer.
“I want to hear what the psychologist has to say about our conversation.” Cole nodded at her. “Go ahead, Rylee.”
“I didn’t hear all of it.” She rubbed her arm where she’d removed the IV and stole another glance at the kitchen. “I’m hungry.”
Cole wasn’t on board with Tomas’ plan, but he didn’t twitch a muscle to interfere. At least, not yet. He simply observed her, waiting.
When no one spoke, she stepped farther into the room, positioning herself closer to the front door.
Would she run? Tomas counted on it. What he hadn’t expected was her blatant disregard of his presence. Surely, she felt him glaring at her, daring her to look at him.
After a moment of deliberation, she lowered her head.
“Everyone handles a broken heart differently.” Her shoulders twitched, her eyes shifty and tired. “Some people only love once, and if they lose that love, they never look for it again. They find other things in life that stir their passions. Like their work. Their hobbies. Or throwing themselves behind an important cause.” She peered at Cole through her lashes. “You don’t waste your time with hookups because you don’t do casual relationships. You had the real thing, and there’s no replacement. You’re a one and done kind of guy. But a word of warning, Cole. Fate might not be done with you.”