Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140940 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 705(@200wpm)___ 564(@250wpm)___ 470(@300wpm)
“What we need to be talking about is what happened to your Hoe Squad.”
“What?”
“When did you get rid of them?”
I curved my lips into a smile. “Eventually, they were given a thirty day notice to find other lodgings and income.”
“Eventually?” She raised one eyebrow. “And who gave them this notice?”
I held in my chuckle. “Am I in trouble, mysh?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“David gave them the notice.”
She frowned. “Dude, that was well after Paris—”
“In my defense, I had forgotten the women were even there. David happened to go over the budget with the Brotherhood’s accountants and found those expenses.”
“Likely story.”
Water cascaded down her hair, tracing the contours of her face, neck, and shoulders. My fingers followed the trail of the droplets, igniting sparks of love and longing in their wake.
“Jealous, mysh?”
“You don’t want me to be jealous, liev. Blood would spill.”
My cock jerked. “Would it now?”
“Do you know how much I love you?”
“Enough to give me some pussy right now?”
She sucked her teeth. “Okay. Put me down.”
“It has been so long since I have been inside of you.”
“Bullshit.”
“It is not.”
“Kaz, you fucked me so much last night that I passed out and then. . .” Annoyance hit her face.
I raised her eyebrows. “And then?”
“Nothing.” She unwrapped her legs from around my waist, lowered to the ground, and tried to turn around.
I would not let Emily put her back to me. “And then?”
“You ended up fucking Lunita a little.”
Tension gathered in my shoulders. “You never said how you felt about that.”
“I am determined to kill her.” She grabbed the liquid soap from the tiny shelf. “Does that not say enough?”
I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. “We should talk more about it.”
“I would rather not.” She commenced to smearing soap all over her body. “Honestly, I don’t ever want to talk about her again.”
Hmmm.
Next, she let the warm water rinse away the sudsy soap.
I just wished it could also wash away her anger, worries, and uncertainties.
I held Emily’s hips as she continued to wash herself.
What should I do about this?
Through being with my mouse, I had learned that to love another human being was complex. However, to love a woman with two different people living inside of her. . .that defied all logic.
I have to do something.
Here in this shower, I realized that my heart was torn in some ways between Emily and Lunita.
Of course I yearned for my mouse to fully heal. I would never dispute that. And clearly, I would never want Lunita to take over and fuck anyone else again.
But. . .fully getting rid of Lunita. . .was that the only answer?
And how could I talk to my mouse about it, without her exploding into pain and hurt?
I watched her clean, not sure of how to approach the conversation.
Emily—the woman to whom I had pledged my future with—was a beacon of light and resilience.
Yet, there was also Lunita, an integral part of my mouse’s identity. A twilight murderous persona that exuded her own odd charm.
Emily desired complete healing.
But what would that mean?
Would it be the unification of her supposed fractured self?
And if that was true, would that mean Lunita would dissolve into nothing?
Hmmm.
Meanwhile, I had grown to love both facets of my mouse and could not imagine any part of her disappearing. . .even the psychotic, gardener-fucking part.
Emily moved her focus to me and began smearing liquid soap on my chest.
I watched my lovely mouse as she cleaned me.
In the end, I would do whatever she wanted.
But I must at least say something. . .for Lunita. The other part of her.
This predicament felt akin to standing at the edge of an existential abyss.
Was love not about acceptance of the person in their entirety?
I had put a ring on Emily’s finger which meant that I accepted all of my mouse’s imperfections, idiosyncrasies, and complexities, just like she had accepted mine.
If so, would Emily’s decision to erase Lunita be a rejection of a part of herself that I had grown to love? Did I not have the place to argue the other side before she did it?
And yet, wasn’t my duty as Emily’s future husband to support my mouse in her pursuit of wholeness and peace, even if it came at the cost of losing Lunita?
These questions gnawed at the fabric of my mind.
It wasn’t about choosing Emily over Lunita, or vice versa. Both were intertwined in a dance as old as Emily herself. Their existence was so inseparable that I often wondered where Emily ended, and Lunita began. To love Emily was to love Lunita, and to lose Lunita felt like losing a part of my mouse.
And yet, I knew, beneath the turmoil of my feelings, that this was not about my emotional maelstrom.
It was about Emily.
Her wellbeing.
Her happiness.
Unfortunately, I was not used to thinking about someone else. . .ever in my life.