Total pages in book: 57
Estimated words: 54589 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 218(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54589 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 273(@200wpm)___ 218(@250wpm)___ 182(@300wpm)
His mouth crashes down over mine in a deep, toe-curling kiss that leaves me breathless as he declares, “I’m not going anywhere, Bella. I’m going to live in fear of every moment I’m not with you, and that’s going to drive you crazy until I check it. And that’s not going to be easy or fast.”
I blink. “I don’t understand. You just said this is what you were talking about last night.”
“I had a bad feeling last night, Bella. I was right. I could feel an attack coming at us. I could feel it.”
“Which made you think we needed space.”
“For about thirty miserable seconds. I’m just trying to be a good man for you, Bella. I don’t want to be selfish with you and at your expense, but the truth is, I can’t help myself. I’m selfishly unable to walk away from you. I need you too damn much to walk away even if I should. You are my addiction that I happily subscribe to. But it kills me that I’ve made mistakes that put you in harm’s way.”
My heart is heavy and warm, relief sliding through me. He’s addicted to me. He can’t walk away. He’s just trying to protect me and too often, I think it’s him he feels is more dangerous than anyone. “You had a bad feeling. You had no way of knowing what was coming.”
“I could have stopped it from getting this far. I’ve acted out of character when handling this threat from my father.”
I think of him digging through files, desperate to win against his father, above all else. “There’s nothing normal about a father putting you through this, Tyler.”
“No, but I should have charged at the problem, and taken the bull by the horns. Instead, I was running from the bull. Proof that my father can still fuck with my head. I have so much to say to you and tell you, and I want to hear about every second of what happened to you, but nothing you say is going to get rid of me.”
“I’ve told you all there really is to tell about what happened to me,” I say, eager to veer away from my afternoon, which is his hell. “But, Tyler, last night—”
“Was nothing more than what I said it was. Damn it, Bella, I want to get on a plane and go get married in Vegas. That’s how all-in I am, and that’s not the first time I’ve said this. I think we should. We’ll do the fancy wedding up right, but we’ll know we’re forever.”
“I told you I don’t need that.”
“I do,” he insists. “I need to know you said yes.”
I soften, tenderness filling me. “I said yes the minute I met you, even though I didn’t know it yet.” My head spins again and I sway.
“Baby, you had me the minute you walked into that interview. Bella, I’ve got you,” he repeats. “I got us. I need you to know that.”
“I know that, all of that, but you don’t seem to know that I’ve got you, too.”
“The only person who ever has,” he says, stroking my hair behind my ear, tenderness in his touch. “I think we need to talk about a lot of things, but we need to feed you before you pass out on me. And I want to wash that man off you.”
“He didn’t—”
“I don’t care. I want every part of this evening washed away, except for the part where I got you back. What do you want to eat?”
I don’t fight him on the dirtiness of the day. He’s right. I want it behind us. As for food, I have strong opinions, always. “Pizza?” I ask.
“Pizza,” he agrees. “I’ll order, and we can shower while we wait.”
A few minutes later, I stand under the flow of warm water with Tyler, his arms wrapped around me, my face resting against his chest, his heart a steady thrum beneath my ear. We don’t talk. We just stand here together, the two of us, in the aftermath of the storm, that has now passed, at least for the moment.
I don’t know if the war has passed, and I’m not ready to ask.
But for the first time in our relationship, I feel certain we will face what battle is left together. It doesn’t matter how long our engagement is or how short. I’m going to marry Tyler Hawk, and we’re both going to hold on tight to each other and not let go.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Bella
Tyler and I have barely gotten out of the shower and dressed in our hanging around the house clothes, which means sweatpants for him and leggings for me, when his cellphone rings. He retrieves it from his pocket and eyes the caller ID, grimacing as he hits decline. “Gavin,” he explains. “I thought he was involved in everything that happened today, but he ended up helping. I’m just not sure I’m clear-minded enough right now to really decide if he’s a good guy or a bad guy.” The doorbell rings. “That’s the pizza.” He kisses my temple. “I’ll tell you all about it while we eat.”