Total pages in book: 179
Estimated words: 173733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 869(@200wpm)___ 695(@250wpm)___ 579(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 173733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 869(@200wpm)___ 695(@250wpm)___ 579(@300wpm)
I frown and delete everything I just wrote. I can’t put the boyfriend on edge and risk turning him against Dana. Reese already told me that he needs him on his side. I start again: By now, most of you have heard or read the transcript of the leaked phone call between Dana Warren and her boyfriend. I’ve dissected this conversation, and I don’t believe any of us can put it into context until we learn more but I was struck by one detail: She was willing to walk away from the money and yet we’re to believe she killed for the money? Those two things contradict each other to such a point that I’ve written them down, as hot points I want addressed in the trial.
I read that passage again and decide I like it. I leave my closing statement as it was, along with my challenge issued to my readers to follow the trial objectively and with me. I send my updated version of my column to my editor and then I sit there and replay Reese’s question: Why do we feel off?
I decide this question is a big problem. Once I tell him about the pregnancy, what if he thinks back to today, and worries that I was feeling regret of some sort? An idea strikes me. I know how to wipe out any worries he might have later and I put that plan in place. I pull up a new document and I type: Our parenthood journey begins—a journal and gift for my husband and our unborn child.
The first few lines read: Today, I woke up to the man I love. It was only moments after he left the house, the day before a major trial, that I realized I didn’t start my period. Even before I went to the store and bought a test, I knew I was pregnant. I also knew that I had a decision to make. Do I tell my husband, my protective, amazing husband, that I was pregnant right away, as I wanted to, or wait until after opening statements or even the trial itself?
I go on to detail everything I can think of and then some. The calls to the doctor, the visit to see Lauren and Royce, my fear about not being sick, my fear of how he’d worry, the moment he’d come into the kitchen a few minutes ago, and made me want to tell him right then, only to share the trial challenges. When I’m done, I close the document and my MacBook. I’m going to document every day and every thought I have right up until the moment I tell him about the pregnancy. He’s going to know I wanted to tell him. He’s going to know how much I love him. I won’t let this go any other way.
Chapter forty-five
Reese
Two hours after fucking my wife on the desk in our apartment, I’m standing in the living room with Elsa and Richard both sitting on the couch, all of us frustrated. Running fingers through my hair, I crumple up a sheet of paper with yet another version of my opening on it, letting it pile up with the other ten versions.
Cat enters the room, and I know she’s what I need, and not just because she’s become my confidant and my best friend. Something is wrong with her and us. I have no idea what is going on with my wife, but I know her. She internalizes and frets but she talks to me and yet whatever this is, she doesn’t want to tell me and I know why. Tomorrow is my opening statement and she doesn’t want to distract me, but not knowing what’s bothering her is driving me crazy.
“What’s this?” Cat asks, rounding the couch to stand in the middle of the crumpled paper pile I’ve created.
“Behold,” Elsa says. “Ten excellent opening statements that he hates.”
“Three of them were shit,” Richard says, loosening his tie. “Is it time for pizza yet? Because we’re going to need fuel.”
Cat drops to her knees, right there in the middle of the floor, sits cross-legged, and after shoving her long blonde hair behind her ears, starts reading one of the openings. She’s only about halfway through and she crumples it and tosses it over her shoulder. God, I love this woman. She grabs another and Elsa and Richard start debating new ideas I tune out. This isn’t working for me and in ten minutes Cat obviously agrees as she’s tossed all ten openings back into the pile of tossed paper balls.
“Let’s appeal to the child in everyone,” Richard says.
Cat starts to stand and I catch her arm, helping her to her feet, her eyes meeting mine. “Can we step into the kitchen?” she asks.
I give her a nod, and we leave Richard and Elsa in heavy debate. Once we’re in the kitchen, we do as we always do when we debate, her on one side of the island and me on the other, both with our hands on the counter. “Tell me,” I say.