Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 496(@300wpm)
“David is not a fan of the wet nurse either. However, Valentina has had several wet nurses, and would like to provide her expertise on the situation.”
“Oh.” I nodded. “Okay then. That will be helpful.”
“Everything will be in place by the time we fly out of Moscow.”
I should have been calm, but tension gathered around my shoulders. “What else do we need to do?”
“Pack.”
I shook my head. “No. I have our staff packing our things as well as the kids’ stuff.”
“There is the memorial for Olga. It does not have to be anything big. I could simply say goodbye before we leave.”
“We could.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Or we can take our time and say goodbye this evening.”
Sadness crept into Kaz’s eyes.
It broke my heart.
I swallowed down my sorrow. “Does the Brotherhood have a special way that they celebrate their lost?”
“It is very typical and Russian.”
“Tell me about it.”
“We have a panikhida. Friends and family gather to pay their respects, pray, and share memories of the deceased. Food and drinks are there, including koliva.”
“What’s koliva, baby?”
“It is like a. . .funeral cake. It’s made from boiled wheat kernels mixed with raisins, nuts, and honey.” Kaz gazed at the small window near the wall. “A candle is usually inserted into the center of the koliva, which is lit at the beginning of the memorial, then extinguished at the end.”
“Then, I will talk to the chef about preparing that for this evening.”
Kaz put his view on me. “We do not have to do this.”
“We do.”
“Olga was not family.”
“Yet, you loved her like your mother.”
Kaz directed his view back on the window.
“Am I wrong about that, baby?”
“You are not.”
“And. . .I feel like. . .since meeting you. . .”
He didn’t look at me. Instead, he kept his view on the window. “What?”
“I feel like you have been dealing with death harder now, then when I first met you.”
“I blame you, mysh.” Finally, he gazed my way. “Since you, I have opened my heart more and more to others.”
“That’s a good thing.”
“Not when they die.”
“Death is a part of life. You can’t stop loving people because you don’t want to ever mourn anyone.” My eyes watered again, but I would not let myself cry anymore. “Tonight, we will hold a small memorial in the dining area. I will put everything together.”
Kaz went silent.
“And we will all join together in the room, filling it with good memories of Olga.”
Kaz spoke, “Will Paolo be in there?”
Shock hit me. “I’m not sure.”
“How will we tell him?”
“I don’t know.”
“While we were painting today, Paolo said her name three times and looked at me as if asking why he had not seen her.”
Tears left my eyes, even though I hadn’t wanted them too.
“He is smart, mysh. Just as smart as Pavel was.” Kaz pulled me close to him. “He has already lost so much in his young life. I do not want to hurt him anymore.”
My heart warmed.
I rested my head against his chest. “We have to tell him somehow.”
“Must we?”
“Like you said, Paolo is smart. He senses the changes in his environment. I don’t want him to be confused.”
“Then. . .”
I looked at him. “Yes?”
“If we tell him about Olga, then what about his parents?”
My bottom lip quivered. “What?”
“This trip to New Orleans is about your healing, yet I think we will all need to cure our wounds this time.”
My voice grew hoarse. “But. . .Paolo. . .I don’t want to. . .”
Kaz scowled at me.
I widened my eyes.
“I have been trying not to love him.” The scowl deepened. “But, you and Pavel have pushed him on me, so now here I am.”
I blinked. “Is Pavel still coming to your dreams?”
“He is.”
My heart broke.
“I think I care for Paolo, mysh.”
“I think you do too.”
“Then, this memorial is about mourning all of the people that we have lost, not just Olga.”
“O-kay.”
“Tonight, we mourn them all with vodka and food—Olga, Pavel, X, Yuri. . .”
More sadness washed over me. “Alright. I will handle everything.”
“We celebrate the dead tonight. Then, tomorrow night. . .”
“New Orleans.”
Chapter 27
A Journey Through The Past
Emily
Time was winding down for our New Orleans trip.
A lot needed to be done, and I wouldn’t let anything fall through the cracks. I was checking my to-do list twice, trying to finalize it all.
Only God knew how I would be when I returned to Moscow.
Would I be me in some ways?
How much will I be changed when we return?
I tried not to think of it.
Instead, I put all my focus on finishing up.
For a good part of the day, Misha and I spent hours in my office, tirelessly working on getting Kaz’s favorite band, Crucifix to play this evening.
It would be a perfect surprise for my baby, but I wasn’t sure if we could truly get them.
Crucifix was the Rolling Stones of Russia. They formed in St. Petersburg in 2009. The band’s edgy image and electrifying music quickly caught the attention of the public, earning them a dedicated fan base and a controversial reputation.