Total pages in book: 183
Estimated words: 174715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 874(@200wpm)___ 699(@250wpm)___ 582(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 174715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 874(@200wpm)___ 699(@250wpm)___ 582(@300wpm)
I’m shocked at how generous and kind he is being, but I need this right now in all kinds of ways. “Thanks for the opportunity,” I say.
“Lori!” One of the waitresses shouts. “There’s some hot guy at the kitchen door trying to see you.”
Cole, of course, is the hot guy. He is hot. Obviously a lot of women that are not me, think so, too. I ignore the shout and head for the back door, exiting to the alleyway where I start walking. My cell phone starts to ring almost immediately. I grab it, afraid it’s my mother. It’s Cole. I decline the call. He calls again. I decline. He sends a text message: It was Ashley, Lori. And yes, she was a bitch. She wants to apologize. Talk to me. Answer the phone. I stop walking and lean on a wall. Ashley. Relief washes over me. Ashley. I cry despite the fact that I am relieved. Embarrassment just won’t let go of me. I have to work with her, and Cole saw me there.
My phone rings again and this time it’s my mother. “Hi, Mom.”
“You sound weird,” she says. “Are you okay?”
I don’t lie. I’m not okay. I can’t say I’m okay. “I’m about to head home. Are you coming home?”
“I’m headed there, too.”
“Great,” I manage. “I’ll see you soon.”
I disconnect and Cole calls again. I breathe in and take the call. “Lori,” he says, his voice low, raspy. “I would never—”
“I know,” I say quickly. “I didn’t think you would. It just—it all shocked me.”
“Where are you? I’ll come to you.”
I want him to come to me. God. I really want him to come to me, but I’m confused and that embarrassed thing won’t let go. “I need to go see my mother. I need to be home tonight.”
“Your home is with me.”
“No, Cole. No.”
“Don’t say no because of tonight. This was nothing.”
But it was, I think. It was such a reality check, such a divide. “I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I hang up, and start walking, taking a corner and entering the subway. At this hour, the car for my train is all but empty and I find a corner to sit, fighting back all of those feelings I don’t want to feel. I took money from Cole. Now he saw me at that restaurant. I let myself become what I didn’t want to be. This person he has to take care of. This person who needs him the way my mother needed my father.
I arrive at my apartment building, and I have never hated this place more, but I can’t get us out of here. I need to pay off Cole first. I need to make my wrong, right. I rush up the stairs and walk into the apartment to find my mother has yet to arrive. I lean on the door and there is a loud knock.
“Lori,” Cole says. “Open up.”
My heart squeezes and so do my eyes. I don’t answer. I am not going to answer.
“I know you’re in there,” he says. “I feel you there. I’m not leaving until I see you.”
Anger comes at me hard and fast. I open the door and step into the hallway. “Why are you here?” I demand, and he is bigger than life right now, handsome, his hair rumpled like he’s been running his fingers through it. Like he’s been fretting.
“That’s obvious, isn’t it?” he says. “I’m here for you.”
“I told you I didn’t want you here. I told you! Why would you come here, when that is the one thing I’ve asked of you? And now? Tonight, after what happened?”
“That’s exactly why I had to come,” he says. “I wasn’t going to let you feel what you felt. I needed you to see me, to know that I don’t feel anything you’re thinking I feel about what just happened.”
“Hi. Who is this?”
At the sound of my mother’s voice, I cringe. I turn to find her approaching, shoving her long brown hair from her face. “I’m Lori’s mother, Evelyn Havens.” She extends her hand to Cole.
“I’m Cole Brooks,” he says. “Lori’s—”
“Her boss,” my mother says. “Yes. And you really are just too good looking for the sake of the female population. My, my. Come inside. I’ll make coffee.”
“He can’t stay,” I say quickly.
“I’d love some coffee,” Cole counters, his eyes on me.
“Oh, good,” my mother says, opening the door. “I can’t wait to chat and hear about your work.”
She enters the apartment and I step closer to Cole. “Do not say a word about us.”
There is a flicker of emotion I cannot name in his expression, before it becomes unreadable. “Of course not, Lori,” he says tightly. “I will continue to wait for the day that you decide we’re worthy of that acknowledgement.”
I think I just hurt him. I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t make that right. Already he’s stepping around me, and into the apartment.