Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 45351 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45351 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 227(@200wpm)___ 181(@250wpm)___ 151(@300wpm)
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I had a small panic attack when I woke up alone in Carter's home. I looked everywhere for him but couldn't find him. Then I was scared to open a door thinking I could set off an alarm. I felt alone. I know it’s stupid to feel abandoned by someone you only met yesterday. So I’ve pretty much been in a mood for the last few hours. I feel terrible that I lashed out at him when he returned. I felt relief when Deuce came back and that feeling is one I can’t afford. I cannot rely on anyone but myself. I am more angry at myself than anything. The mango thing sent me overboard. It is such a ridiculous thing to get upset about but I’d been on edge already and that tipped me over. I have to remind him and myself that I am leaving.
I stare at myself in the mirror. “You have to leave,” I whisper to my reflection. I think of my mother as I stare at myself. We look a lot alike but life has taken a toll on her and you can see it in the lines on her face. I don’t think her chain-smoking helps much either. I can’t be like her. Making bad decisions and depending on men is not something I want. She always has to have a man in her life. I told myself that I would steer clear of them because with them always comes trouble. That’s what my mother’s relationships have taught me. She’s the reason I’ve never pursued a relationship of my own. I’ve never had the desire to.
I take a calming breath and open the bathroom door. My eyes meet Carter’s, who’s standing there waiting for me. “You don’t have to leave.” He heard me talking to myself.
“That’s where you're wrong.” I walk past him, letting my body drift across his even though I know I shouldn't. One last touch before I have to leave. I don’t have to look to know he’s following me down the hallway back into the living room area. I fold up the blanket he gave me last night before stacking the pillows on top. I peek over my shoulder to see him watching me. I can’t read his expression but I know he wants to say something. I’m just not sure if he even knows what it is. He seems like he’s having a tough time getting it out.
“Spit it out, Deuce,” I say. I’m sure he has some rude comments on the tip of his tongue. I brace myself for whatever it is. I’m never sure which way he’s going to go with his remarks.
“Carter,” he corrects. I turn my head so he can’t see my smile as I go through my bag to make sure I have everything. Crap. I still have his shirt on. A small part of me wants to keep it. Maybe he won’t notice if I leave with it on. Almost like I’ve forgotten. I could take a little piece of him with me. Maybe I should leave it, so that I’m not reminded of a life that I could have had if things were different.
“Sorry. I keep forgetting,” I lie. I guess I enjoy dishing out the rude comments as much as he does. Mine are always followed by me feeling guilty though. I know I am being a jerk. Carter, on the other hand, is a dick one minute and helping me the next, so I’m not sure what his true colors are. The only thing I know is that he’s helped me out more than any other person in my life and I’m grateful for that.
He laughs. I freeze, shocked by the sound. I stand, slowly turning to look at him. He’s got his head tipped back laughing. Damn him for looking even more handsome while he does it. The sound rolls over my skin and I wonder what it would feel like to be pressed up against him. I smile, knowing that I caused him to laugh.
“Of course you don’t remember my name.” He laughs harder, his words filled with irony that I’m not getting. His laughter is contagious and I let out a little of my own.
“I really am sorry.” I drop my bag back down onto the floor. “I’ve been a jerk and I really do appreciate the place to crash for the night and the food. It means more than you know.”
His face softens for a moment before he drops his gaze to the floor, looking at my bag. I follow it and see my cell phone and Ricky’s wallet have spilled out. I reach down to shove everything back into my bag but Carter beats me to it, grabbing the wallet. My eyes immediately go round when he lifts it up to inspect it. I snatch it from his hand before he can open it. His eyes meet mine in an instant. The smile he was wearing seconds ago has faded and a look that I can’t place now sits on his face.