Total pages in book: 50
Estimated words: 46500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46500 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 233(@200wpm)___ 186(@250wpm)___ 155(@300wpm)
With a sob, she nodded. I pressed my palm to her heart, locking one hand around her throat, forcing her to feel me. “Breathe,” I coaxed, my voice firm and hard—unforgiving. I knew I sounded harsh, but gentleness didn’t work with Jessie when she was in this kind of state. “Fucking breathe, you hear me? I don’t need you passing out on me, goddammit.”
She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, tears still pouring down her cheeks. But her breathing was regulating.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurted.
I didn’t even flinch. Not much shocked me these days. I didn’t give a shit about her pregnancy. I didn’t give a shit about anything except keeping her grounded and focused on me.
At that moment, I was her fucking lifeline.
Everything else could go on hold. She was it for me. Nothing else but this woman mattered, including this baby.
She drew in a broken breath. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated in a whisper.
I dragged her onto my lap and gently rocked her, running my hand over her hair. She continued to cry against my chest, clutching my cut in her fists. “I’m here, baby,” I rasped. “I’m here, my girl. I’m not going anywhere.”
Once she wasn’t crying so hard, she lifted her head and looked up at me through bleary, bloodshot eyes. “I can’t be a mom,” she choked out. I brushed my hand over her cheeks, wiping away some of her tears. “I’m too fucked-up.” She wasn’t. She fucking survived. Sure, she came out with scars—both internal and external—but she was in no way, shape, or form fucked-up. Her lips trembled. “And I just got you back,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m not ready to share you.”
That ripped apart my fucking soul.
Jesus Christ.
I held her tight to me.
“I know it’s selfish.” She hiccupped. “But I don’t want to share you, Ink. I don’t want a baby.”
I pressed my lips to hers, coaxing her to respond. Her tears mixed with our kiss, tasting salty on my tongue, but I didn’t stop until she had relaxed some in my arms.
“I promise you,” I rasped, “that not a goddamn thing in this world will take away my time with you, not even a baby.”
She shook her head. “Babies need their parents. I can’t share you. I don’t want to share you. I don’t want this baby,” she whimpered.
I tucked her against me and continued to soothe her, gently shushing her. “You’ll always be the center of my entire fucking universe, my girl. For eternity, you hear me? You’re my life force, the reason my goddamn heart beats.”
She just hiccupped again, her fists tightening their hold on my cut. I continued rocking her long after my muscles began to ache, but eventually, she fell asleep, soft snores leaving her lips.
With careful movements, I stood from the floor and carried her from Joey and Elaina’s room. Joey’s eyes followed me, concern for his sister in those dark depths, but I didn’t say a word.
I locked us in our room, and I didn’t leave her side, terrified if I did, I’d lose her all over again.
17
Jessie had been a fucking mess yesterday. And now today, she was just . . . numb.
I remained patient with her, coaxing her through a shower with me. I even had to get her dressed since she wouldn’t do it herself. I brushed her hair out and coaxed her through brushing her teeth.
It was like taking care of a child, but my girl was breaking, and like hell would I get frustrated with her when she was like this.
Committing to someone like Jessie meant you were there for all the ugly parts, too.
And today? I was seeing the ugly part, but I still loved her just as much. Not a goddamn thing would ever change that.
I left her in bed hugging my pillow and went to find Joey to see if I could get protection arranged for me to get Jessie to the doctor. The first thing I needed to do to deal with this shit was to find out if she was truly pregnant. I knew at-home pregnancy tests were only so accurate, and for her sake, I was hoping it was wrong.
Jessie wasn’t ready to be a mom yet. That much was very fucking clear.
I stepped into the chapel where Joey was sitting with Alejandro, both of them looking over a folder. They looked up when I marched in.
“Didn’t think you were gonna ever emerge from that room,” Joey commented. “We need to hold church.”
“Not right now,” I told him. He arched an eyebrow at me. “I need to get Jessie to the doctor.”
He lost his anger at the sound of his sister. “Ink, what the fuck is going on with Jessie?” he demanded. “You two have been holed up in your fucking room for almost twenty-four goddamn hours—”