Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110671 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 553(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
“Have you done that?” he asked quietly.
Darius nodded with a dip of his chin. “With you.”
Oh.
“It broke my heart when you said that the world was ugly, that the bad guys always win,” he said. “Remember?”
Of course Gray remembered. It was mere days ago he’d taken Darius to the beach and all the guys had held a memorial of sorts for those they’d lost.
What Gray had said, that the world was ugly and that he hated mankind, was true.
He needed someone who could prove him wrong.
He wanted to be wrong.
So, Darius had done the same…? That stung. It made sense, but it stung.
It explained one of the reasons—maybe even the biggest one—why Darius had been drawn to Gray, something he hadn’t been able to understand. Until now.
He exhaled a little laugh at his own stupidity.
“What’s funny?” Darius furrowed his brow.
And Gray’s non-humor died. “Absolutely nothing.” He had to get away. Stat. “Go return your rental. We’ll follow. It’s stupid to take a cab anywhere.”
It should give Gray a few minutes to get his crap together, at least.
“All right.” Darius looked like he was about to leave, but he changed his mind. “What you’re doing for Jayden is fucking amazing, Gray. I didn’t mean to diminish that. I’m just telling you straight up that I won’t let you avoid your own trauma.”
Sure, whatever.
Hours later, Gray received a longer breather when Darius was asleep in the back seat and Jayden was dozing off in the passenger’s seat.
They’d gotten a late start, not leaving Philadelphia until after lunchtime, but Gray still wanted to reach Cleveland before calling it a day.
Too much had happened today for Gray to process much of it. He’d gone numb at the moment, and he savored it. Numbness allowed him to just focus on the driving and enjoy the silence. Not that it stopped him from glancing at Darius in the rearview every five freaking minutes, but whatever.
Gray had always been a worrier when it came to people he cared about. Sometimes, he bordered on being a fusser. Mom liked to point it out with a touch to his cheek. She’d struggled a lot financially over the years—single mother of four boys and then the inn she owned and operated by herself. In the toughest times, she hadn’t been able to afford a staff. She’d almost run herself ragged. Gray and his brothers had helped out on the weekends and during breaks, but it hadn’t stopped Gray from worrying. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that the inn became profitable to the extent that Mom could relax a bit more. These days, she even had a day off every week. Meeting Aiden had helped too. He was good at putting down his foot when she took on too much work.
It was similar with Abel. Gray firmly believed he had the best friend in the world in Abel, but the guy knew how to make Gray fret. With his bipolar disorder, occasional depression, moments of being hyper and tireless, and anxiety, Abel required a whole other approach. Gray had him figured out, though. He knew how to be there for his friend. And nowadays, since Abel had gotten together with Madigan, Gray had been able to loosen up a bit.
Now there were two new people he couldn’t stop worrying about.
Jayden had been his own provider and protection; he’d lived on the fucking streets, and he was only eight years old. It didn’t take any psychology classes to figure out that Gray was not equipped to be the best support for the boy. Jayden would require professional help, and it would take time before he lowered his defenses and trusted the people around him.
Gray lifted his gaze to the rearview and smashed his lips together. He didn’t want to think about his attachment to Darius, but it really ticked him off that Darius wouldn’t elevate his leg farther right now. Fucking bastard. He’d twisted his body a bit to lean against the door and rest his bad leg on the seat, though that was nowhere near “keep the wound elevated above your heart.”
Gray suppressed a sigh and returned his focus to the highway.
Craig entered his mind only because Gray wanted to find a way to compare feelings—the feelings he’d had, and the ones he had now—and more than that, he wanted those feelings to be gone. And despite the clusterfuck Craig had put him through, that time had been easier. Hopeless teenager falling for his closeted, married hockey coach—Christ. For years, Gray had been in love with Craig, and all they’d shared was a stolen kiss. Then all this happened. Gray went through hell, and he met Darius. He’d shared something with Darius, an experience, that no one else would ever understand.
For always having felt like he’d been good at reading his own heart and being in tune with his emotions, Gray found himself beyond lost now.