Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“Oh, hey,” Van turned and said over his shoulder. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s good.”
“I think I would live on this deck if this were my place. I forgot how quiet it is out here.”
“Not so quiet in LA?” Shane teased as he plucked a beer out of the fridge.
“Just a little louder.” Van winked at him. “And I like that too. Both have their appeal.”
They were quiet again as they leaned against the railing, nursing their beers.
“Let’s sit down,” Shane told him and the two of them made their way to the chairs. There were stools for their feet as well and Shane put his up. “What did you do when you left?”
“Took a bus to LA. I had some money I’d saved, because that was always my plan—to get the fuck out of here the second I could. I stayed in a hostel when I first got there, then a shelter, finally got a cheap-ass hotel where I could pay weekly and was basically afraid to leave at night.”
“No shit?”
“No shit,” Van replied. “But it was incredible.”
The tone in his voice surprised Shane. He could hear the fondness for that time and he guessed he understood. “You were free for the first time.”
Van looked at him and grinned. “Exactly.”
Shane got it. Christ if he didn’t feel like he got Van. If he didn’t respect him too.
“I worked two jobs waiting tables. Piled money away. Worked through art school. Kissed lots of boys. That was my favorite part.” Van winked and Shane chuckled.
“I bet.”
“You don’t even know. It was like a whole new world. I didn’t have to pretend to like girls, or not like art and be enthralled with the male body. I went a little crazy at first—fucked in alleys, bathrooms at clubs. Did a lot of X and some stripping, too.”
Shane shook his head. “Holy shit. You’re fucking blowing my mind right now.” He sure as shit couldn’t imagine it. Stripping, drugs, and fucking his way through Los Angeles.
“I don’t regret any of it. It’s hard to explain. I spent my whole life being trapped when no one knew I was trapped. Pretending to be okay when I felt like I was dying inside. I’d put on a façade for so long that I didn’t want to fake anything. Didn’t want to lose any experience. Didn’t want to be that perfect kid whose private life was anything but perfect.”
Shane looked at him then. All those years he was suffering and no one knew. Maybe even suffering more than Shane. “At least with me, I didn’t have to pretend.” And he had someone who loved him.
“Doesn’t make your pain less than mine,” Van replied.
No, he guessed it didn’t. “Let’s not do that. I don’t want to talk about anything depressing.”
“Me either.”
They talked more about Los Angeles. About cars. Music. Movies. And he realized he had a whole lot in common with Van. They laughed and drank, and a couple hours went by before Shane realized it.
His head spun slightly, the snap and crack of electricity zipping under his skin. “I’m a little buzzed.” He rolled his head, keeping it against the back of the seat.
“Me too.” Van did the same. “I wish I could take your picture right now.”
Shane’s nose wrinkled. “Why the fuck would you want to do that?”
“Because the moonlight is shining off you just right. It’d look good in black and white.”
“What do you do?” Shane asked. His mom had told him but he wanted to hear it from Van. Wanted more details too.
“I’m a painter and a photographer. All male…a lot of nude and erotic stuff.”
“Are you shitting me right now?” Shane hadn’t known the nude and erotic part.
Van laughed. “No.”
Holy fuck the man was full of surprises. He’d lived so much life. A whole lot more than Shane had. “Let me see some of your art.”
Van leaned closer and pulled his cell out of his back pocket. “I can pull up one of my galleries.”
He fumbled slightly with his phone before opening a page and then scooting his chair closer to Shane’s. He handed the phone over and the first photograph that popped up was of a man on a bed. His chest touched the mattress. His knees were up under him so his ass was slightly in the air, legs spread, head turned toward the camera.
It was the perfect angle. You could see the arch of his spine, his sexy face, and the curve of his ass cheeks.
Shane’s dick perked up. “Wow. That’s fucking beautiful.”
“Thank you,” Van replied.
Shane scrolled to the next. It was of two men, tangled together—arms and legs and torsos entwining. One man had his face in the other man’s neck, and he had his hand on the first man’s ass.
“I was so afraid of who I was growing up. So ashamed, but Jesus, it’s fucking beautiful, isn’t it? Two male bodies together. Sex. Passion. Love. There’s nothing more beautiful in the whole goddamn world.”