Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56507 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 188(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56507 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 283(@200wpm)___ 226(@250wpm)___ 188(@300wpm)
I turn it into a question without really meaning to. They exchange another look.
“Does this magic include some steaminess?” Lia says, seeming suddenly filled with purpose and excitement.
I swallow, thinking of the kissing and everything else, thinking of the way he can make my body feel like it’s burning up from the inside. “Yeah, but it’s not just that. It’s the way he makes me feel. It’s how he makes it easier to get over certain things.” I won’t go into detail about exactly what I’m getting over. I’ve done a great job of hiding it. Only Aiden, with his me-reading abilities, could see right through it so quickly.
“I know it’s only been two days,” I go on. “I guess almost three, but still.”
“Do you know who you’re talking to?” Mila laughs. “When I arrived at the estate and saw Mikhail, I knew, without a doubt. I was happy that Dad had sold me to this man; obviously, I thought he was Dimitri.”
“It was the same for me,” Lia says. “I knew right away.”
I don’t say it, but that seems nuts. I didn’t know, just like that. Maybe on some level? Maybe deep down?
“At first, it was like we were both fighting it,” I go on. “Like neither of us wanted to admit we could want each other. Yet every moment we spend together feels way more important than it should.”
“Don’t worry about ‘should,’” Lia says. “You’re happy. That’s all that matters.”
“I don’t know if it will go anywhere anyway,” I say.
“Nah-uh. Maybe you’ll have some exciting news of your own soon.”
Lia is talking about her pregnancy, but I’m already shaking my head before she’s done talking. I know what she’s getting at right away.
“No way.” I think of holding Henry and how natural it felt. There’s plenty of time for that in the future.
“If he’s anything like Dimitri, he’ll be baby crazy,” Lia says, laughing, but then she stops. “Sorry, Ania. I was only kidding! There’s no rush.”
“I’m fine,” I say, but now she’s opened up this new world of possibilities. What if Aiden wants kids? Why am I even thinking about kids? What the hell is wrong with me? With us? It’s all too fast like events are stacking up heavily, pressing down on me.
“I have to go,” I tell them. “I love you both.”
“Ania, seriously, I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“I’m fine, Lia. I promise. I love you.”
“We love you too,” Mila says.
Closing the laptop, I walk to the window, looking at the city as the sun sets. As far as I know, there still have been no updates from the Kozlovs. I’m safe here, locked in this tower, like a princess with nowhere to go. No future. Just a man who wants to fill her with babies and take all her dreams away.
Panic smashes into me, and I rush into the bathroom. Then, I catch sight of myself in the mirror. It’s like somebody else looks back at me, small and melodramatic. I’m. So. Sick. Of. Being. Weak!
I slam the toilet seat closed, then open it, then slam it, then open it and stare into the bowl, into the clean water. I can partially see my reflection. It’s like a distorted version of myself—the Ania that only exists here in the bathroom, the shame-filled version.
“Fuck you.”
I spit in the bowl.
“Fuck you.”
We eat dinner in the large, fancy dining room. It’s Teddy—I’m not sure when I stopped thinking of him as Theodore—Mom, Aiden, Mikhail, Dimitri, and me. If somebody had told me when this started that we’d all be sharing a meal together, I would’ve laughed.
“You must miss your wives,” Mom says, looking at Mikhail and Dimitri.
Things seem awkward between the three of them. I get it. My big brothers are staring at a reminder of just how messed up Dad really was. They’re also staring at a reminder that they weren’t the ones to reunite me with my mother. Aiden was.
Aiden is watching me as I move my food around the plate, so I purposefully put a piece of pasta in my mouth and begin chewing slowly.
“Yes, of course,” Dimitri says, “but they understand that we have to put Ania first in this situation.”
“It’s not like the baby’s here yet anyway.”
My tone must come out way darker than I meant. They look at me like I’ve just said something mean.
“Oh, a new life,” Teddy says. “How wonderful.”
“Two new lives,” I say. “Mila and Lia both are going to have babies.”
Aiden is looking at me closely. I wonder if he’s thinking about making me pregnant, subtly telling me to stop ballet, putting me in my princess-shaped place.
“I never knew I wanted children,” Dimitri says, “but I was so happy when I heard the news. I couldn’t believe how happy I was, honestly.”
Mikhail says nothing. He’s watching me just as closely as Aiden is.