Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79462 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
I never will. No matter how much Casey smiles and how many times she takes me shopping.
“Look, I know you didn’t want this,” she says, dealing a hand. “You’re kind of trapped here, right? Neither of you wanted to get married and you were basically thrown into this ugly situation. We’re all a bunch of strangers. I get that, I really do. I mean it when I say I want to help you in any way possible, even if that’s just listening.”
I clear my throat. Why’s it suddenly so hot in here, and why’s my mouth all dry? I can’t seem to swallow properly past the lump.
“Thanks,” I manage, sounding hoarse.
“Don’t mention it. And hey, if you think working will help, ask Adler for a job. I’ll train you myself.”
“Oh. I don’t know. I mean—” I laugh a little, trying to picture myself dealing cards. It might actually be fun. “Maybe I’ll take you up on that.”
“Fantastic. Hey, look at that, you win!”
She pushes some chips in my direction and I beam down at my pile of fake money.
We play a few more hands in comfortable silence before my big mouth gets the better of me yet again. “You and Adler were in a similar situation to me and Jayson, right?”
If that’s a sensitive subject, she doesn’t show it, only nods along and keeps on dealing. “More or less. I didn’t want to be married to him at first, but he made it clear that being his wife was in my best interests. Things got better from there.”
“Right, well, okay, erm.” My ears turn red again. Damn me. I can’t seem to keep it together. “Well, before you two started, you know, to like each other, did you ever, uh—” I can’t bring myself to say the words.
But Casey seems delighted. “Get intimate?”
“Uh—” I clear my throat. “Yes.”
“Sure. A bunch of times.” She sighs, looking into the distance with a smile. “It was great. Don’t get me wrong, it’s better now, but there was something about hating him and still giving in, you know what I mean?”
Yes. Yes, I know what she means.
Which makes me despise myself more than a little bit.
“No,” I manage to say. “Uh, no.”
“Right.” She eyes me, not bothering to hide her smile. “If you want my advice, I say let it happen. Unless it’s already happening.”
“Ah—”
“Right, okay, you don’t have to say. I know you don’t really like Jayson right now, and maybe you even hate the whole family, but you guys are married, you know? And if you want to explore certain possibilities together, I don’t see why not.”
“He is my husband,” I mutter, feeling absolutely humiliated, but strangely better.
“Don’t feel bad. It happened to all of us. Me, Hellie, Isabel. There’s just something about these men.”
“It’s how badly they want you.” I cover my mouth, ashamed of saying that out loud, but Casey only nods in agreement.
“Like you’re the most perfect thing in the world.”
“I’ve never felt like that before.”
“Nobody ever does. Except I do when Adler looks at me. And maybe you’re feeling that from Jayson?” Her eyebrows raise.
“Ah, I mean, no, uhm—”
“Okay, okay, sure,” she says quickly as I awkwardly stutter my way through it. “If you want my advice? I say do what feels good. That’s all you should worry about right now.”
“Thanks,” I say and for some reason, that does help a bit. Guilt’s been eating at me since the night before when I let my husband-slash-mortal enemy get me off, and that guilt’s only getting worse in the intervening hours as I’ve done nothing but obsess over how freaking good it felt to come on his mouth.
And how filthy it was when he made me lick his fingers clear.
And the way he called me good girl—and how badly I crave hearing those words again.
His mouth on my nipples. His fingers pummeling between my legs—
Ah, fucking well, I’m an absolute wreck, but what if Casey’s right? Jayson’s my husband, and if it feels good, and there are so few things that feel good in this place right now, then why not let it happen?
Letting him get me off won’t stop me from ruining his life.
Sex is just sex. Bodies are bodies. Sweat, coming, moaning, all that fun stuff, it’s fleeting.
Revenge, now that’s forever.
“Well, would you look at that,” Casey says, staring off over my shoulder. “As if summoned.”
I turn to look and there’s Jayson, standing at the entrance to the high-rollers area. He’s staring at me with this luscious glare like he both wants to strangle me and fuck me at the same time. I’m not sure if he’d rather kill me or get me off, maybe both.
“Husband of mine,” I say with a resigned sigh. “I should go talk to him.”
“Sure, whatever you want.”
“Thanks for the games. And for the advice.” I push the chips to her.