Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110824 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 554(@200wpm)___ 443(@250wpm)___ 369(@300wpm)
I moisten my lips and find the courage to speak. “I’m not mad at you, Victor. I’m just tired from work and over emotional.”
All of that was truthful. I’m not mad—could never be mad—at Victor. It’s just I think I could be in love with him and that can’t happen. I can’t allow myself to feel that way because it will destroy me when he finds someone he wants in his life. I know that will happen. A man like Victor is not meant to be alone. Some lucky woman will win his heart and when she does, I’ll be forced to watch her live out every fantasy I ever had.
“You have me worried, Kitten.”
My eyes close. God, why does he have to be so sweet?
“I don’t mean to,” I whisper. “I think I’m just really tired. You should go home tonight. You’ve been practically staying with me as it is. The break will do us both good, and I’m sure you have stuff at home that needs your attention.”
He studies me and I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I can almost feel his brain working as he tries to figure out what’s wrong with me. I can tell he’s unhappy. That’s the thing about Victor, he never hides his emotions from me.
Sometimes I wish he would.
“Go shower, sweetheart. I’ll order us some food and we’ll watch your Superman movie. If you still want me to leave, I’ll go after that.”
I close my eyes. I never really want him to leave. I can’t tell him that. So instead, I nod my acceptance and continue on to the bathroom. I do it all while pretending that my heart isn’t breaking.
What is wrong with me?
He’s done nothing wrong. Maybe, Deanna is right. I do need to date. If I do that, maybe I’ll get over this fascination I have for Victor. The last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship. I close the bathroom door when I get there and breathe easier. I don’t really want to date, but Deanna is right. I need to start pushing myself—before I ruin the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life.
victorio
. . .
I fucked up somewhere. I’d like to say that I have no idea where, but I’m pretty sure she got pissed because I looked into that motherfucker who has been asking her out. I worked like hell to try and find something wrong with the guy and it kills me that so far, I’ve found nothing. It seems impossible. Everyone has skeletons to hide but so far, I’m not finding anything on this Caleb asshole.
Gia was quiet through dinner and through this horrible Superman movie. She loves it though, I could see how her eyes lit up during certain scenes and sometimes, she would even mouth the dialogue along with the characters on the screen. It was adorable, and it took everything in me not to grab her and pull her into my arms. There’s a voice inside my head, telling me to do that even now. I want to, so bad that I can taste it. The problem is, if I scare her away, I’ll never forgive myself.
Jesus! This woman has me tied in knots and she has no idea. Antonio and Niko might be right. I should man up. In the time we’ve been together, I’ve tried to spend my time letting her heal. I’ve made it a point to make sure she knows when I see her, I don’t see her scars. I’ve made it a priority to let her know how special she is to me. I have been biding my time until I see that she’s wanting more, and then I have always planned to make my move. I haven’t yet because I still see fear in her eyes. I’ve been there when she has her panic attacks. I don’t want to add to her panic and push her to the point she runs from me. I’m pretty sure that would kill me.
Maybe it’s time I talk to Emilia. I smirk because I know Niko is going to have a fit over that. That just makes the idea more appealing. I turn my attention back to Gia and find she’s fallen asleep. She’s leaning against the arm of the sofa, and she looks so beautiful and innocent that my damn chest aches.
“What am I going to do with you, Kitten?” I whisper.
I stand and lift her up easily, cradling her against my chest. Her hair is down and dry from her shower. Her beautiful burnt auburn hair is falling over my arm in waves that remind me of liquid fire sparkling in the moonlight. Her face is relaxed for a change, something that rarely happens. It usually takes me all evening to get her to come out of her shell and past her walls. She changed into a set of Christmas pajamas that have little reindeers all over the green, furry bottoms. Her top is the same matching green fur, dark in color and long sleeves. There is nothing sexy about any of it, and yet, I’d never seen another woman look hotter in my life.