Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86495 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86495 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
I grab her around the waist and bring her flush against me. We’re sopping wet and warm now that we’re in the shower together. Still, her touch is ice cold as she wraps her arms around my middle and digs her fingers into my back.
Her head falls against my chest and she rocks her forehead back and forth, like she’s shaking her head no.
I let my head fall into the crook of her neck as I wrap my arms tighter around her.
It feels like I can’t get her close enough. I want her inside me, part of me.
She’s crying now, but I can barely hear her. Her quiet tears are worse than outright sobs, and my heart fucking breaks. I flatten my hand against her back and drag it up to cup the back of her neck. I want her to look at me, want her to say something.
When she finally does, it hurts.
“I want to hate you so badly.”
Her words are a bullet to the heart.
It feels too late, like nothing I say now will have any effect on her.
“No,” I whisper.
“I want to,” she says again, her voice faltering.
“Please don’t.”
She lifts her head to look at me, her sad eyes brimming over with tears.
“You left me and went to New York City.”
“You didn’t ask me to stay.”
“You didn’t want to stay.”
“I did, but I knew I had to get away. I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought…” I shake my head. “I tried to tell you how I felt, over and over again. I thought I was showing you my feelings, but you didn’t want to hear them. You never wanted to talk about us being together.”
“Because I was in love with you!” she shouts. “Desperately! Horribly! I loved you in the worst way.”
Her words reverberate in the glass-walled shower, shocking me into action.
I bend down and capture her lips quickly, before thought or reason or motives or consequences can weasel their way into a perfect moment.
It’s the kiss of a lifetime. The kiss I’ve wanted for years. A kiss that comes right after the truth.
I love you too, Maddie.
I loved you then and I love you now.
I tilt my head and kiss her harder, grasping her with everything I have.
How is it possible for two people to be in love, circling around and around one another, neither one of them clued in to the fact that the other person feels the exact same way? The more I loved her, the lonelier I felt. The harder I fell, the scarier it was to admit my feelings. I tried to make subtle hints, to flirt in an overt way that she couldn’t misconstrue, but what she said at dinner was true. I am angry at myself.
All this time…lost.
Look at us.
We’ve killed ourselves over a misunderstanding.
We’ve loved in isolation.
We’re starved, and this kiss is so overdue it hurts.
Maddie’s nails scrape my back as she arches up onto her toes and presses herself against me. I take one of her legs and wrap it around my hip, using it to hoist her up off the ground. Backing her up against the wall makes it easier for me to leverage myself against her, to seal our lips together as my hands explore her body. I yank on the straps of her dress. They’re wet and stuck to her skin, obstinate. I tug harder, and one tears free.
Maddie doesn’t notice. Her hands skate around my waist, coming around to the front to work on the button of my jeans. It’s not easy. She’s in her own way, but I’m not dropping her. We’re fumbling and impatient. Her hands are clumsy and soft and exactly what I’ve wanted on my body for the last few years.
Years.
God. I’ve wanted her for years and I still don’t have her.
I have her in this shower and that’s it.
I feel crazed as I whisper her name and tug her dress down her chest. I unhook her bra, and she helps me take it off. It falls to the tile at our feet. My hands cup each breast, covering them until a heavy moan escapes her. I kiss her again, wanting more. I could tease and lick and kiss her all day, but I’m burning up inside and so is she.
She tightens her legs around my hips, rolling them against my hard length still encased in wet denim. A curse escapes me as she glides her hand underneath my waistline, cupping me.
Oh Maddie.
I’ve been lost.
New York City has millions of people, and not one of them is you.
She pulls away and breaks our kiss, trailing her mouth along my jaw and neck. Her hand works over me, pumping harder, and a shiver racks down my spine. Fuck it feels too good. I nearly let her continue like that and finish me off with her hand. I want that desperately, but not right now. It’ll have to wait.