Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 118333 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 473(@250wpm)___ 394(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118333 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 592(@200wpm)___ 473(@250wpm)___ 394(@300wpm)
Phebe’s hand came down to rest on mine. Her touch stopped my words. I stared down at her hand on mine. Her pale skin, and lightly painted nails. When I looked into her eyes, I saw sympathy in her gaze . . . and I realized it was sympathy for me. “My father touched me as a child.” Phebe looked across the room at Lilah. A tragic kind of smile pulled on her lips. “Lilah is my sister. Did you know that?” I nodded. Tanner had told me so. “He hurt her too. Sent her away and into the arms of monsters—devils disguised as saintly men.” Phebe let go of the mug she was holding and took hold of both of my hands. “We are not our fathers, Adelita.” I felt my heart crack. “None of us are our family members, friends, or torturers. We each are our own people who make our own choices.” Phebe put her hand on my cheek. “You are not Alfonso Quintana, in the same way that I am not my father.”
My bottom lip shook. “Thank you . . .” I whispered, my voice growing hoarse. Phebe gave me a small smile.
“Tea?” she asked as the kettle boiled.
“Please.”
I watched Phebe busy herself with the tea, then she said, “She is stronger than people believe.” I tensed, and Phebe looked over her shoulder at me. “My Sapphira. My girl.” I saw nothing but steel and belief in Phebe’s eyes. “She is beyond quiet and, right now, prefers an uneventful life. But she is strong and resilient.” Phebe’s eyes misted, but she kept her voice strong. “One day my girl will shine, and move on from the prison of her past. She is special. I know it in my heart. She is meant to do something special. It could be as simple as loving another with her entire soul. Or something else. But whatever it is, I will be watching and smiling . . . and I will be proud.”
I squeezed Phebe’s hand. “You are a good mother, Phebe.”
Phebe exhaled a breath I didn’t know she was holding. “I just cherish the fact that I am allowed to be her mother now.” My confusion must have shown on my face. “There was a time when I was not allowed to be near her. And they were the darkest days of my life.” My shock was evident. Phebe let go of my hand and poured the tea. She handed me my cup. “I used to avoid thinking of those days, Adelita. I used to feel shame at the things I was made to do, the life I lived.” Phebe’s eyes found Saffie’s as she exited the bathroom immediately looking for her mother. Saffie went and sat next to Lilah, but first offered me a tentative smile. I smiled back, feeling her forgiveness toward me in the depths of my heart. When Phebe faced me again, it was to say, “I have learned to embrace the dark, Adelita. We cannot escape that we all must travel through dire days. How we were raised, the people—good or bad—who gave us life . . . if those days are shrouded in darkness, embrace them and allow them to have a place in your soul. They are a part of who you are as much as the lighter, inspiring days.” Phebe pressed her hand to my shoulder. “We are all part angel and part devil. But once we are aware of that fact, it then falls to us how to live from then on.” I glanced at Saffie. “You now know the man your father is. Everything from here on, regarding where he fits into your life, is your choice.”
Phebe walked to Saffie and handed her the tea. I couldn’t take my eyes off them as Saffie smiled at her mother and Phebe kissed her head. Taking my tea, I took the seat beside Beauty.
“How are you finding life here at the Hangmen?” My eyes found Mae. She was addressing me. All the other women stopped their conversations to listen to my answer.
Gripping the tea in my lap, I said, “I was not allowed to leave Tanner’s room until today.” I paused, worrying I’d said the wrong thing. I wasn’t complaining, simply stating a fact. “I understand why,” I added just in case. Mae didn’t seem offended. It was her husband who had given that order. Understandably so. “But just from what I’ve seen today . . .” I glanced around these women. Felt the level of their bonds. “I think I will love it.”
“It’s different to how you were raised?” Sia asked.
“Very.” I took a deep breath. I felt I should share some about me. No, I needed to. They’d been open with me. “I was sheltered my entire life. I didn’t have a mother, and my father, although he loved and spoiled me, was distant and cold. I had two close friends, family friends.” I paused, the pain of losing Teresa still raw. “One of them was killed by a rival cartel.” I suddenly felt a deep sorrow. “I had Charley from California. But her visits were not frequent.” I shrugged. “I guess I was . . . lonely. Was getting forced into a marriage with a man I did not love, while my soulmate was a rival and completely unacceptable to my father.” I laughed at the absurdity of our situation. “And Tanner would have been killed by his own people for falling for a Mexican—a woman they believed was below them in every way.”