Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 141492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
As he stated his objections, his fingers closed into a fist, and he rubbed it over his chest, directly over his heart. At the same time, her heart convulsed with an unfathomable piercing ache. She let herself connect deeper with him, feeling the sudden agony of a vampire clawing at his heart with sharp talons. Or was it her heart? The bluish-white spiderweb of scars surrounding her heart pulsed with pain.
“You have to stop doing that, Safia,” Petru reprimanded gently.
“I don’t always know I’m reaching for you or even why. In this case”—she tried to be honest—“I knew I had to connect with you on a deeper level but didn’t know why.” She frowned, trying to explain it to herself as much as to him. “It feels like a compulsion I can’t resist.”
“The same as when you were a child?”
The question was mild, but she glanced at him sharply, feeling reprimanded, as if she couldn’t control her impulses. Faint color stole into her cheeks. She hated that he was right. She was supposed to have learned discipline over the years, but she was still that curious little girl, unable to stop herself from connecting with the creatures that intrigued her.
“That is not the way I meant the inquiry,” Petru said, his voice once again that gentle brush of velvet in her mind and over her skin. “I must learn to communicate better with you so you do not feel as if I’m making accusations when I’m merely seeking knowledge for us. We have so little time to figure these things out. I believe they’re important.”
“Or maybe I could be a little less sensitive,” Safia conceded. It made sense to figure out how she had gotten into him so quickly. As a child, she was the one to find her lifemate and, by doing so, had jeopardized the entire war. She had put Petru in a terrible position whether he wanted to admit it or not. They couldn’t afford for such a thing to happen again. She had to know what was happening and how so she could prevent mistakes when Lilith’s army attacked.
“You were not to blame,” Petru objected. “We have to stop playing the blame game with one another. We are past that. We must build trust between us. You have a brilliant mind when it comes to tactics, and I’m counting on that. I don’t want to have to wonder what you’re doing; I’ll know, just the way I know with Benedek and Nicu because I’ve fought beside them so often. I’m still learning with the triplets. The three of them have battled vampires together for hundreds of years and have their own unique methods.”
Safia couldn’t help but be elated that he so casually stated that she had a brilliant mind for tactics and he was counting on her. She loved that he planned on treating her as his partner in every way. She nodded to show she agreed with him about not blaming herself, although acknowledging he was right might be much easier than actually dismissing her doubts.
“To answer your question, the compulsion was stronger than when I was a child. I needed to connect with you.”
“Did you feel my physical pain before the need?”
Had she? For Safia, everything felt as if it had occurred simultaneously. But it hadn’t, not when she went over the memory, breaking it down. The effects had been fast, brutally fast, less than a second, but still there was an order to the steps.
“Memories flooded into my mind. Your memories of battles of vampires tearing open your chest, ripping at your heart, morphing into the memory of you watching my heart being ripped out. Mental anguish, I think first.”
Petru pressed his fingertips to his eyes. “This presents a problem, as I do not feel emotions most of the time. I don’t recall having memories in my mind. If I’m unaware of feeling pain, emotional or physical, how can I keep either from you? This is probably the same thing that happened when you were a child. I’ve heard other women state they felt our emotions when we did not. It was difficult to believe, although I heard the truth in their voices.”
“If you don’t know you still feel pain or emotion because you’re too compartmentalized or because for all those centuries you were unable to connect with either, there is little you can do about it, Petru. I should be able to. The bond we’re forming is new and very strong. I’ve never had any relationship with a man. I’ve not felt desire or fear like I have being around you, so it is much harder to control compulsions when it comes to you, but now that I know what is happening and we can’t afford it, I’ll find a way to adjust.”