Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
"Have I, now?"
"You have." He sighs heavily, his head going back as I rock my hips against him. "I am a worthless Salorian. This world—and you—have corrupted me completely. I cannot return home. If I did, I would be cast out, as exiled there as I am here."
I run my hand down his chest, rocking my hips against his dick again. "And that's what's set you off, today, baby?"
Azar groans, his eyes closing. He drags me against his shaft slowly, taking his time. I lean in and rub my breasts against his chest, reminding him how good we feel together. That it doesn't matter that we can't have sex like normal people because of his body heat. What we have is enough for me. I slide a hand down his chest again, then flick my nail over his nipple as I wait for his response. He sucks in another deep breath and then continues. "I am splintering apart, Melina. This world is breaking me into a thousand pieces, and I cannot keep myself together if this continues."
"Tell me," I say softly, rubbing my thumb over the bead of his nipple. "Maybe I can help."
"I do not like that you work hard for people that are not grateful," he rasps. "I do not like it when you struggle. I do not like that I am tired, or that those that are our allies look down upon us. I do not like that I am no longer a good Salorian. All your caring is rubbing off on me and I do not like it. It is breaking me apart by small fragments. I should like to go back to caring about nothing at all. My head was much quieter then."
"Mmmhmm." I continue to rock atop his lap, and his shaft seems larger by the moment. I want to grab his robes and push them aside, so I can feel him directly between my thighs, but I don't dare in case he's close to erupting. I lean in and press my mouth to the hot skin of his throat, and he groans like a man dying. "No one said it was easy being in charge, love."
"You don't understand."
This is unlike him. Azar always takes everything in stride, and my heart aches. "Then help me understand?"
"I'm stretched too thin." For a moment, all the arousal leaves his eyes and he looks so very forlorn. "Sometimes it all feels like too much. I just want to release all the dragons and let everyone take care of themselves. Sometimes I'm so tired of doing it all."
"Then let them go." I shrug. "We've survived dragon attacks before. We will again." I'd be sad if it happened, but I'd rather deal with dragon attacks than have Azar crumble. "It's not all on your shoulders."
"It is," he insists. "If I don't keep the drakoni in line, then the fort isn't safe. If I don't keep the fort safe, the others will take their children and leave, and then we can't shield from the Rift." His expression is pained. "And all I want to do is grab you and sink my cock deep into you and give you my child, and I can't even do that."
I go still. It's the first time he's mentioned anything like this. Normally we don't discuss children or even sex. We just go with what feels good. "I don't mind what we have," I tell him, keeping my voice gentle. I nuzzle at his neck, brushing my lips over his skin and the pulse that beats underneath. "If it's all we get to have, I'm fine with it, because I have you."
"You don't want me," he grits out. "I forced you to be mine."
"No, we agreed on it," I point out. "Like you said, everyone has a price. You paid mine, and now I'm yours." When he's silent, I lift my head and look him in the eye. "You're seriously upset about this right now?"
His mouth presses into an unhappy line as he regards me. He reaches up and pulls my hair out of the clip that keeps it off my neck, letting the straightened length of it fall around my shoulders. Hair that he painstakingly helped me straighten, wielding a fire-heated hot comb, all because I wanted to try a Before hairstyle. This is a man that paints my toenails for me and rubs my back when I'm tired. This is a man that dutifully reads whatever I hand him next, because he trusts that I will pick something he'll like. This is a man who says he needs no one and nothing, but holds me so close when we sleep that I know those words are lies.
Azar might have grown up amongst a people that think he should be a cold pillar of strength, but I like the man that's been “flawed” by this world. I don't care what anyone else thinks.