Total pages in book: 130
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 587(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
"I love you," I tell her, searching her face. "I love you, Melina. I am not supposed to, but I feel like my world is ending if you are mad at me. I am not supposed to love a human…or anyone. But without you, this world is a blighted place. You are the light. You are the reason I want to wake up each morning and keep on going in this world."
Her gaze grows soft as she looks at me. "Oh, Azar."
"I am not a good man," I rasp, feeling as if I must get all of this emotion out of my chest before I burst with it. "I am not even a man, like you said. I do not know how to think like a human, but I know that I love you, and I want nothing more than to make you happy. If I must think of people differently, then I must. If I must stop and think before doing, then I will stop and think. Just…do not give up on me."
"Never," Melina breathes, and leans forward to brush her lips against mine. "Never. I love you, too."
I groan. Hearing it somehow does not feel real. She…loves me? Me, who causes her endless problems? Who forced her into my bed and made her my consort when she wanted nothing to do with me? She loves me? I capture her mouth against mine, trying to transfer all the emotion I feel for her into our kiss, as if I can somehow convince her that what she says is the truth.
She touches her tongue to mine, all sweetness to my darkness. It seems incredible that this elegant, gentle female wants anything to do with me, but as I kiss her, Melina makes a soft sound in her throat, encouraging me. Hot lust burns inside me. I want nothing more than to hitch up her skirts, to push into her and give her my bite. To claim her as my mate, truly.
But then she will be forced to be mine. She will no longer have the option of leaving me. I will be in her head, in her mind, and she will know the truth of who I am and what I have done. So I cannot do that. She must not know all the bad things I have done to get where I am. She must think of me as she does right now, as wrong but willing to do better. Those that know my past would never give me that chance, and so I must keep her in the dark for a little longer.
Plus…I like that she is with me because she chooses to be with me, not because I am in her head. I like that it is her decision, and not one that has been forced upon her. I can wait a little longer.
There is such joy for me that she chooses me, despite my flaws.
I press hungry kisses to her face. "Let me touch you, my beautiful one. Let me make it up to you. Let me show you my devotion."
"Azar," she whispers, her fingers gliding through my mane.
I want to give her everything…but for now, I will settle for giving her pleasure. Hungrily, I kiss her plush mouth, her cheek, her chin, her neck. She arches with pleasure when my tongue brushes over her throat, and I drag my teeth over her soft skin, yearning to claim her and yet knowing I cannot. "May I undress you?" I ask. "Pleasure you?"
I do not realize I am holding my breath until she nods. Then, I exhale, all relief. This thing between us feels fragile. Delicate. As if the wrong move could somehow destroy everything…so I must take exquisite care with my mate. I must not give her any reason to stop loving me. I think it will destroy me if she does.
Melina gets to her feet and I rise, my hands moving over her clothing. I peel the fabric off of her, hating it. She did not wear a dress today, but a rougher, coarse fabric that does not suit her beauty. It stinks of her clinic and the sick people there, and I have made more work for her by being stubborn and not sharing food, not like she wants. I just know that those that get too complacent, those that expect handouts will not work to be part of the whole, and right now we need everyone doing their share. But it is easy to say that when I sit in my rooms and do not have to clean the puke from the mouths of the sick. I kiss her forehead, and her eyes flutter closed.
"I will be a better mate," I promise her. "Just give me another chance."
"I'm here, aren't I?"
She is, and I will take advantage of it. Reverently, I peel the clothing from her form and press more kisses to her brown skin as I do. I kiss her shoulder, her slender arm. I kiss her belly as I undo the belt that holds her pants to her waist. I kiss down her legs as I move the pants to her ankles, and when she kicks out of them, she is left in nothing but the garments she calls panties and a bra. I know these are increasingly hard to find, and so I am careful with them, because she values them, and I value her.